Article on Manipulative People
Unfortunately, there are many domineering and controlling people out there. While checking my e-mail and surfing the web on December 15, 2009, I came across and article about those kind of people: http://shine.yahoo.com/channel/life/5-behaviors-of-manipulative-people-549848/
What that article says about them is mostly true. I’ve had many bad experiences with manipulative or controlling types, and have discovered the traits written in this article in them. Some of them manipulative techniques are more direct while others are more indirect.
I’ve been familiar with broken record techinque since I was young, because I faced many bossy people. As a child, when people said that they forgot what they said or did, or remembered it differently, I often thought that they were correct, and that I was the one who forgot, especially since I’m easily persuaded. Many times, that made me victim to people’s lies and false accusations. I finally became aware of it in my last year of high school.
The guilt and bullying methods are similar, and I’ve face them frequently. Quite a few people, especially those who know me better, often used them on me. Unfortunately, these methods are more indirect, and I didn’t really start understanding them until a few years after college.
For example, I eventually realized that people whom I have to keep apologizing to are not real friends. They would say that if I did anything wrong or bothered them, they’ll let me know. However, they often acted upset at me and give off signals, and when I apologize, they would say, “Don’t apologize!" I finally learned that they did something wrong, or are cliquey and rejecting me as a friend, but deny or disguise it. Real friends wouldn’t say “don’t apologize” or make me feel I have to apologize.
In high school, I began having a bad feeling about flattery, eventually hating it. At first, I thought the reason was just I didn’t like hearing false things. However, after a few years after college, I finally understood the whole reason. Flattery is often a form of lip service filled with bad intentions. For example, Many people kiss up to their superiors to receive rewards they don’t deserve and avoid punishments they deserve. Flattering peers or subordinates is often to cover up hatred and discrimination towards them. That’s why flattery upsets me, because it’s a form of deceit and mind games for people to get their ways.
After being deceived and put down many times, I can’t think people as good, unlike what the first paragraph of the article says. The article makes some good points, but their methods of countering manipulative behavior will not always work. Besides, I think there are more dominating techniques than what the article says, and I can name many people who are manipulative.