Thanks and Apologies
First of all, I would like to apologize for the last few entries. I know they were upsetting, but I just couldn’t help it since all the things that happened were giving me severe appetite problems. I’m sorry if I bothered, offended, or insulted anyone.
My original purpose for starting online journals was to write essays on public issues. I had decided that I wouldn’t write about my personal life or expose myself, which meant no Friends Only or Private entries. However, as time passed, another purpose for my online journals was added: to tell my side of the story in conflicts. Now I have really changed my mind and contradicted myself. I eventually began to reveal more and more of myself in my entries, and the focus seems to have shifted to myself, especially the last few months. I now have too many Friends Only entries, especially the last few weeks. I’m really sorry for all the bragging, self-centered, narrow-minded, and attacking entries. That’s what some people out there would say if they knew about my online journals.
If you do not know what I’m talking about, or didn’t read the latest entries, then you can disregard what I just wrote. However, I still have an apology for you: sorry for being so cliquey and writing so many Favorites Only entries. I couldn’t make them public because I don’t want certain people out there to see them, in case they stumble onto my online journals. Don’t worry, you’re not those people.
I also apologize for not reading or replying to your entries and comments for a long time. Things have been crazy, including limited computer time and slow computer and internet speed.
For those of you who have been with me, and provided support, advice, or nice words through my hard times, thank you! I wish I could behave as well as you do, and help you with things, especially since I’ve done nothing good for you.
My problems are still not over: some linger, and some are new. That’s why I apologize in advance for more unpleasant entries in the future. If you are all mad and upset at me for the latest entries or anything else, I’m really sorry.
Glad u r home & that u r about to start school again. That is a HUGE positive in ur life. Ur parents have really wrecked ur self-esteem. (I can say this from experience in being the child of hyper-critical parents & then being the parent & being hyper-critical myself.) U need to find a group for emotionally abused persons or a therapist that specializes in that. I will REALLY help u. (It did me. Iwent for about 2 years in my early to mid 20’s.) Stop apologizing 4 who u r. Ur parents & faves be damned. If they don’t like u or what u have to say or do then; TOUGH COOKIES! I wish that there were someway I could help u MORE, but as usual all I have r words. Do me a favor; once a day look @ ur self in the mirror & say something positive about ur self. Then when ur parents start ragging on u the next time think of the thing u told ur self that day. ALL MY BEST WISHES! LUV & HUGS!
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Gosh. I hope that you feel comfortable enough here to build a network for emotional support, since you’re getting just the opposite at home. But if you have to make things favorites-only or private just to get things out, that’s fine; nobody else has a right to your thoughts. As for noting back, take your time. School comes first. We’ll still be here.
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