TORC Ban

It started when I felt left out for not being able to attend The Gathering of the Fellowship, an event for Tolkien fans (especially members of online communities) in Toronto, Canada taking place in the middle of December, 2003. Alandriel started a thread at TheOneRing.Com (TORC) for those not going.  I posted there at first, but then wasn’t interested in the discussion, so I left for awhile.  I returned to find out that I missed a lot, including the formal roleplay (RP). It seemed as if people were either going to the Gathering, participating in that RP, or both. I thought I was the only one not doing either. Besides, many of the people from the thread I regularly posted in (known as Nightguards Guild) were in it, so I really felt left out.  After participating the light RP in the Nightguards Guild I joined the formal RP. I began receiving e-mails about the way I wrote. Kaya and Alandriel said things like, “irritate everybody” and “had to vent.”  That really made me feel like a troublemaker.

I had also been having problems with Hobbituk. Misunderstandings occurred, and though apologized and explained what happened, Kaya and Alandriel continued to hold things against me, give me the cold shoulder, and played mind games. That even spread to others in their clique. At the same time, Alandriel requested the RP to be temporarily locked, and I thought I was the sole cause of it because of e-mails from her and Kaya. When I tried to complain in the thread about the way they were all treating me, it didn’t work, and made things worse. Hobbituk even said, “everybody annoyed.” He and the rude arrogant moderator (mod), Shadowjack (SJ), who had a history of sending me rude e-mail messages, put me down through mind games. My fear increased, causing me to accidentally talk against them in other threads. The mods notified me, and edited my posts.

I realized how much trouble was happening, and began taking actions to settle the problems. A friend of theirs had also rubbed in, “You’re not a good RPer,” and said that Kaya and Alandriel were still upset at me. I then posted an apology. Many people said they accept and forgive, but as I slowly learned, it was not true. Alandriel sent me an e-mail, attacking me, saying that I was putting her down in front of everyone, going behind her back, and trying to make it public. All I was doing was trying to admit my mistakes and apologize for them, and I had to get it out to all the affected parties. It was the only way, and I didn’t say anything about anyone. She sent the e-mail to the mods as well.  IE (InnocentEvil) locked the RP and "suggested" avoiding Alandriel and the threads she participated in. To tell the truth, I somewhat felt they didn’t treat me right either. I found their comments and reactions harsh, but the biggest part of the problem was misunderstandings and confusion, which I was apologizing for. I pretty much decided to not put the blame on them. The next day, PG (PrettyGaladriel) sent a nasty message, which I forwarded to the mods since they were taking care of the problem. I said that I was going to avoid Kaya and PG as well, but that was only my decision.

I thought they suggested me to avoid only Alandriel, and only for a few days. I should have known that the mods were using this chance to make unfair rules, abuse their powers, and go too far, but I let them have their ways. After a few days, I thought it was over, but Kaya, Alandriel, and some of their friends continued to be cliquey, play mind games, and ignore me. At the same time, there were other clique and biased members who would do the same thing and also single me out or make false accusations whenever something didn’t go as they expected. I also began to realize that unpleasant people usually refused to reveal the identities for their RP characters’ accounts, because they were trying to deceive, play mind games, and show off by putting down those who couldn’t guess the writers.

A few weeks later, I received a warning from Barad-Dur, a rude and unfair mod, for posting in threads where Kaya, Alandriel, PG, Hobbituk, and Leoba posted. He even lied, "We asked the Nightguards to leave you alone!" and removed the congratulations thread I started for PG. Baffled, I replied with questions, but instead of clearly answering them, IE replied rudely and falsely accused me for "trying to cause trouble" when "I knew I was supposed to avoid them," though Hobbituk and I settled our problems, PG had apologized, and I never even had trouble with Leoba. Actually, I never even mentioned Hobbituk or Leoba in the e-mails to the mods who had just made me feel like a criminal. I soon realized how cliquey and narrow-minded, Kaya, Alandriel, Leoba, and some of their TORC friends were. They were all expert RPers, Europeans, or both, and discriminated against those who didn’t fit either description.

On February 2, 2004, I wished Leoba and someone else congratulations. The next day, SJ sent me a rude warning with the lies that I "purposely sought out trouble" and they "asked the Nightguards to leave me alone, so I had to avoid them and others in their group." I replied with questions, but not only did I get no answers, he made rude comments and lies and included many others who were never involved. Some of the named members were upset at the mods for falsely grouping them with the people I had problems with, and PG also complained that she was unsure why the mods brought it up when we had settled it. I then realized those mods’ true evil intentions of bias and power abuse, and how cliquey many TORC members were.  Out of options, I informed the admins and sought answers from the people those evil mods named. This resulted in my unfair ban the next day, February 4, 2004. IE sent several mean e-mails with lots of lies, including "after discussing it with the staff" (when she probably only talked to the admins, SJ, and Barad-dur), informing me about the ban.

The admins said that the ban would be temporary, at least two weeks. After that amount of time, I asked for reinstatement, but received no reply. When I inquired about it after another week, the admins said that they’re "still discussing it with the staff." They had lied. After awhile, I gave up, lost much respect for authorities, realized who my real friends were, and hated TORC for good though I stayed in touch with a few nice members. I also learned once again not to let my expectations, imaginations, and fantasies run wil

d and get out of hand.

I did return to the site a few times just to gather information, and each visit would be very painful. The bad memories would resurface, and I would almost burst into tears. What caused me more pain was seeing Alandriel restarting the RP that had caused problems. All the pain returned, and I felt left out. As time passed, I began letting more and more TORC friends know what had happened. Braganil, who had been nice to me, replied rudely that he did not want to read anything regarding my ban because he "didn’t want to take sides." My fear had been right: he had been falling under the negative influence of those expert RPers. I had to remind myself once again, "Because they are not my real friends! My real friends wouldn’t treat me like that." I decided never to return to TORC.

As weeks passed, I figured out that Barad-dur, IE, SJ, and Daefaroth were the mods who had too much time and usually abused their powers. These four hotshots were at TORC almost all the time, and obviously their usernames reflected their personalities.  All four names are related to evil and darkness. They also locked more threads and gave members a hard time more than the other mods. A friend told me that they falsely accused her of having more than one TORC usernames, and a few others said that they had problems with them as well. I saw IE participate in several other online communities and was banned from one, proving her hypocrisy, evil, and having too much time. She probably wasn’t happy about the ban, so she took it out on TORC members. SJ also appeared at a few other boards. Months after the ban, I received the good news of Barad-dur being fired as a mod. I also learned that SJ and a few rude members faced banning at times.

I can’t believe it’s been a long time since the ban. Thinking about it and visiting TORC still upsets me, so I have stayed away though I keep in touch with the nice members. I have no intention of going back to such an unfair community.  At times I would say, "Their loss!"