oh the cycles

I’m addicted again. I can’t stop checking back. I know I’ll probably go for months without checking back again – that always happens… but right now I’m here as much as possible. And I’ve gotta be honest, none of you are writing frequently enough to satisfy me! Isn’t that the most ridiculous thing I’ve ever said? But seriously, when I log on, click favorites, and find that no one has written since I last logged on, I get a little sad.

Mom’s driving down tomorrow for a conference. She’s going to stop by in the afternoon to drop off the rest of our wedding stuff, and then she won’t be back until Saturday morning. I haven’t cleaned at all. This is the messiest my mom will have ever seen our apartment. Oh well! She will also be extremely upset with me that I’ve barely made a dent in the thank-you cards. It’s such a daunting task, and really a terrible one too. I try to make all of the cards seem personal, and like I actually took time to think about what I was writing. No one-liners of “thanks for the great cake plate.” No, no I can’t just stop there:

Dear so-and-so,
Thank you so much for the gorgeous cake plate! We have been needing one for some time and I can’t wait to show it off. It matches our style perfectly!
We missed you at the wedding, but understand how busy the holiday season can be. I hope you’re having a wonderful new year! Can’t wait to see you soon…
Love, Erin & Chris

That’s what a typical thank-you from me sounds like. My hand cramps after 5. You have to remember the gift (usually I have it written down), or if it was money come up with something you’re putting it toward, and then you have to remember whether or not they were at the wedding. If they weren’t you missed them, if they were you were SO thankful that they made it, yadda yadda yadda… And, of course, you’re wishing them a very happy new year. (Although soon I might have to say happy valentine’s day…)

Do I sound heartless for having something so formulaic? Possibly… BUT, I think most people genuinely appreciate the gesture. Someone actually told my mom how touched they were by my thank-you note from the shower. I guess I’m just that good (when I remember to send it… coughMEGcough). Nah, I mean I am absolutely grateful for all of the gifts – the least I can do is write a nice thank you note. But at the same time it just takes so long… and it hurts… the pain! After awhile you forget how to form letters, or you screw up and try to make it look like you didn’t, and sometimes you just have to scrap the whole damned thing and start again. You wonder, can this 60-year-old read my black, cursive handwriting on this dark red card? Oi.

Maybe I can convince Mom to buy me stamps. No, Saturday won’t work will it. Bah. I’ll have to do that myself. I don’t deserve to be 24, married, great job, and looking for a house. I’m not nearly mature enough for it.

I really should go to bed. I’m running an 8am dealy with HR. Can’t be late. And I’m really bad about sleeping in. But I’m not tired, as usual.

(indecision)