a normal entry… and the fears of college

I figure I should write an entry not pertaining to Alex for once in my life. So here we are.

I am so incredibly happy to say that Kim and I are talking again. This morning Dani and I walked into 4th mod a little stunned… we weren’t quite sure why, but it seemed like we were in the wrong place at the wrong time. (Apparently people were working on the roof and several tables were closed under where they were working, so people were spread out in the student center differently.) At any rate, suddenly I see Kim waving for me to walk over to her, and she’s like, we’re all sitting here today. She proceeded to explain that we were, in fact, in the right place, and that people were just at different tables. I could’ve kissed her then. (Ok, maybe not… but believe me I was happy she was taking me under her wing.) We started talking as we sat at the table… it was like we’d never stopped. After school I saw her at Ron/Goo’s ??? locker, and I hugged her. Kim, thank you so much. You seriously made my day so much better.

So do you remember that entire “German class in Erin’s basement” time? Where we had to watch some sick teen movie in order to write a German comp, so I just invited most of my German class over? (Man that was one great time… yeah nerds!) At any rate, Meg and I, as well as Carmen methinks, have decided to have an “English class in Erin’s basement” time this weekend. And my mom has consented. *yeah nerds* I have no idea what we’ll do, but it’s going to be great no matter what. As long as it’s even part of my English class. Guaranteed wonderful discussions, even if it is during a movie or whatever we do.

I got home from jazz band at around 3:43 today. As soon as I walked in the door, the phone rang. It was Meg, who also had just gotten home, wondering if I wanted to go to a track meet at 4 to see Dani pole vault. Now, on a normal school day, I would have been flipping out with things to do. However, we have 22 days left of school (before senior project, anyway). I have no homework. Our papers have been turned in, and I have absolutely nothing to do. In short, heck yes I wanted to go to the track meet… especially on a sunny day like this! So Meg and I went back to the high school and watched Dani pole vault. Then we watched Jon and Keenan pole vault. We watched Steve high jump and Dani sprint and, well a whole bunch of people run and a whole bunch of people hurdle. I left early, as it was a little nippy outside, but I was so glad I went. It seems that a lot of nerds are in track. How lovely that I got to be somewhere with great people outside with nothing to do but take my mind off of things!

And so as the days grow longer with sunlight, the days become fewer until school is over. Only a few short months before I am off to start a new life… before I no longer must attend a high school that is insane with ridiculousness, but graduate to new and different levels of ridiculousness at college. I am ready to get away; I am ready to leave several people and several places. But yet again, I’m a little bit scared. I didn’t realize it until this moment, but there is some hesitance – especially when graduation is so near. I think that leaving my bed will be hard… and leaving my cat. I don’t want to leave my shower, to be honest with you. I don’t want to leave the bathtub ledge that I use for shaving, I don’t want to leave the nice massager showerhead, I don’t want to leave the pressure that comes out of our shower… (I know these seem like very petty details, but hotels and colleges and other homes never have enough pressure for me to effectively wash my hair.) The privacy in general will be a sore loss. I’ve never had to share a room with anyone for an extensive period of time. I need privacy… I need alone time.