just stop.

Fuck Starkey. I don’t give a damn, ok?

You’d think that one stupid freaking tuba wouldn’t cause so much friction between such good friends. Besides that, what is this sudden “oh let’s just beat on ourselves and accept rejection before it occurs” crap? What is that? That’s so me. I hate it. I hate it a lot. Don’t. You’re all beautiful and adorable and lovely. Screw the rest of them.

I never thought I’d be hating the day that someone actually took an interest in me, but I guess that’s what I’m doing, isn’t it. And I don’t even feel like I can write everything that’s been going through my mind right now. Which is probably the worst part about it. I will eventually, I know I’ll come to my senses. But meanwhile I’m thinking, what do I want them to think? What do I want them to know about how superficial or not superficial I am? How do I want to explain my thoughts and actions. And screw that, this is my diary. And yet no.

I love you guys, and that’s all that matters. Let’s not let any guy, any tuba, any jock, any class, any friend, any diary get between us.

I feel like this entry is harsh.

Disjointed.

Angry.

I’d just like to add that if I were a toothpick that wore a size 6 I would still be boyfriendless. Do you know why? Because I’m so me. I’m such an elitest, a band-o, a nerd, a bitch, a snob… I’m just so ME. That’s the reason right there. Someone tried to say, so just change HOW you are (as opposed to what you look like). Now why in the world would I do something like that? There’s a person who has their priorities out of wack, and possesses no assertive powers. How I am IS me. “I’m a bitch, I’m a lover… I’m a child, I’m a mother… I’m a sinner I’m a saint… I do not feel ashamed!” YUP. Pretty much.

Bah… what a horrible entry this is turning out to be. I’m not even as mad as I was when I first began to write. I took like a half an hour break from writing… I’m just tired now. A guy from this freaking city finally takes an interest, and nothing.

It’s amazing how quickly it travels, sometimes. Aims –> Goo –> Ron. Nice.

It’s 1:25am… everyone in my family is still awake and not in bed. How wrong is this? (like a lot)

I’m being ever

~swept away in stupidity~

@~>~>-dreamergrrl

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