death and dancing (no taxes, sorry)

I want to write like that more often. I forgot what it feels like. I forgot what it feels like to become what you write… to put yourself in the words… to sense what it’s sensing, or to feel nothing as I write… it’s a wonderful feeling. I was sitting there out in the hallway just writing. Occassionally I would stare for a minute or so into, well I think it was at some lockers (this not being the point), space… using every sense of reality to absorb the fiction. To absorb the death.

Well, I had both my sister and my mother read it. Initial reaction (well yes my sister had it too, but not as badly as my mother)??? She came around the corner wide-eyed and concerned, asking me if I was alright. My mom thought it was morbid, and dark, or suicidal or something. Kept asking me if I was ok. Now let me ask YOU, my dear readers, who may possibly know me as well IF NOT BETTER than my mother. Am I dark or suicidal? No. I find it quite humorous that she could even consider it. *shakes head in disgust*

Furthermore, it reminded me of censorship. Like how all those books out there warn you of the fact that ideas and thoughts are not openly accepted… they are questioned, they are criticized, they are analyzed. It was a strange sensation. I just wrote about Death, for God’s sake. And really it wasn’t even a specific death. It just, well, was. Consider the fact that I simply said shadows were coming to “me”… coming to take “me” away… really if you examine this closely it would in fact suggest that it was a natural death, not so much a suicide. (Of course I’m not saying it’s either way, I just said that to get my mother off my back…) But it truly is up to the interpretation of the reader. If you think of it in that light, isn’t it my mother who’s the morbid one?

So, continuing on a different note. *hums a g sharp* (of all the notes why a g sharp? because it was better than a b flat, and yet I didn’t have to write “an” instead of “a”… I really didn’t want to do that) Andy and I were talking today on the phone. We’re just friends… in fact we’re such just friends that he started talking about this girl he has a crush on again. What IS that??????? Goodness. So yeah thanks Bren. GOOD CALL. Right. Yes. Bah. BAH, I tell you!

Today Scott and I learned the polka together! 🙂 Yesterday was the Minuet, and today was the Polka. Which was rather lovely, because there is much more contact in THAT song than the other. But the question is, do I like Scott? Enough to have a relationship with? Or just to date? Hmm… need Dustin to FREAKING COME ONLINE to discuss this. After all, didn’t you say you sounded alike? *laughs*

Tonight my sister and I went to the Y to get buff. *grunts and flexes muscles* I’m really quite weak. So depressing, after having been slightly/moderately buff in January. Ahh well… I guess they have some of the equipment that was used for the Olympics? State of the art, or whatever. Yeah some of it was mighty nice. But the arm curl machine? CRAZY, I tell you. Makes it at such an angle that it’s way harder than your normal standard biceps curl. Bah. I think I want to stick to free weights. Just because I do. I don’t know.

Well, I’m off to be

~swept away being obsequious, purple, and clairvoyant~

@~>~>-dreamergrrl

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