a little something I wrote

Today for English we got to do whatever we wanted. Well, almost. It is UNHEARD of in this particular class to get to write what we think, so I jumped at the opportunity. The assignment was to use our 40 some minutes of classtime to either work in a group or by ourselves, and just do some creative writing. Some classes had plays, and musicals, and satires being written… (I really do believe anyone who wrote a musical is crazy) but we’re all reading and/or performing them Friday. I chose the path less taken and worked alone. I plan to just stand up there and read Friday. At any rate, here it is:

It makes you think. It makes you think about every syllable of every word you’ve ever said. Every feather of every bird. Each sunset you’ve ever seen, each tiny spec of a star you’ve ever been blessed enough to see. It makes you wonder.

It makes you wonder what each word means, what each breath gives, what each note sounds like. All of a sudden you wonder how you got here, why you got here. For a second you think you have a glimpse of the answer, but it fades. Forgotten.

Not quite a lifetime, and yet my time is up. It’s true… I cannot remember any reasons, only words, only actions. I don’t remember any how’s or why’s, simply was. Simply did.

Simple. From here it all seems so simple. So easy. I remember feeling helpless, but it was easy. Here I am. Looking back is what’s hard. All the pictures, all the laughter, all the crying. But now I feel nothing. I sit, I think, I wonder. I wait.

I look around me and I recognize things. More words… each thing has a useless word. A word that will never embody the thought of it. And yet I tell myself the name of each place, each thing. Window. Tree. Rain. Meaningless. That will not help me from here. Yes, the window where I use to sit and write. Strange that I find myself here now. The tree that once held unknown joy and beauty. It holds only shadows now. Shadows, another word. Shadows, though it’s raining.

Still I wait. Will those shadows ever find their way through the branches? The rain continues, urging the shadows. Tangled. Just as the air tangles within my lungs. Pointlessly… and I wonder again why we breathe. But I try to memorize the feeling.

I gaze out the window, little droplets rolling down the pane, but I do not see them. I see only the tree sighing, sense only the shadows coming. Coming towards my window. The rain floods the ground. Words flood my mind. Many many words. And still I feel nothing.

That tree… my tree… gives a sudden tremble. I know, I know. And suddenly I remember. No more words, just the answer. I feel a shadow cast over my window. How did I forget? Remembering. The soft patter of rain is suddenly drowned out by nothingness. I am surrounded by… Void. For a split second I wonder. Wonder at the freedom I feel. And then I stop. I exist. I fade. Nothing.

There you have it. I don’t want to say much, I’ll just let you think.

Off to be

~swept away in writing~

@~>~>-dreamergrrl

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