I should’ve listened to my sister

She told me to make it quite clear what I wanted. Trouble was I didn’t know what I wanted, but she meant make it clear that it was nothing more than friends. I will mention, however, that he was the one that kissed my neck and not the other way around. But now it’s no. Definately not, in fact. I definately do not want a relationship with Andy. NO no no no no. Thank you to several people for that. My sister last week, my father, my grandmother, myself, and Sean. (Yeah Sean ok so you’re right I do want intelligence. I’m stupid to even doubt that.)

So what in the WORLD do I do now? If Emma and Alex decide to date or see each other once in awhile or whatever, that means Andy and I are almost by default involved. Why? Because we have licenses and they don’t. I know what I want. I want the couple-ish feeling I get with Andy when he does all those things he does, but I want all those things better, and from someone who is an intellect, and so not Andy. I was sitting there at lunch, and Dad and Grandma were practically interrogating me about Andy. After awhile they were just like, “so what DO you like about him?” I didn’t answer. Why didn’t I answer? Well, besides it being very embarassing, I honestly am not sure WHAT I like about him. So now I’m totally wishing it hadn’t been so… how it was. Even though that’s semi what made it so lovely. And it really WAS the most romantic real night of my life, even if it wasn’t really romantic.

And furthermore… what do I do now? Alex wanted the 4 of us to get together today and go see a movie or something. Stupid Alex. Did I mention he asked me yesterday at Cedar Point if I liked Andy? Did I mention all I could say was, “it’s complicated…”?? And now this whole practically double dating but driving for 45 minutes to do so thing. I liked Alex better than Andy, for God’s sake! How wrong is that? Not like liked Alex, but just like his personality much better than Andy’s. (Did I mention they both had this obsession with my dimples or something? Bah… but I hate them!)

So now that I know what I want. What am I going to do?????????

I’m being

~swept away in more questions~

@~>~>-dreamergrrl

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