Nostalgia at its best

Nostolgic? Perhaps, I can’t really tell. I remember my life by the music which plays through it. “I hope you’ve had the time of your life…” This was my 9th grade theme. Our t-shirts, our song, our yearbook… it takes me back, but also brings me to today. “With Arms Wide Open” is not even a case of nostalgia yet, but it will be… I know that for some reason. It’s such an awesome song that it effects every moment of my life that it plays. I was reading Brennan’s diary as it was playing, and it was somehow perfect for her entry. It gave me this really awesome, positive feeling.

What’s that one song? “A desert rose…. is the sweet intoxication of our love…” It takes me back to July. You know how for awhile when you’re not positive of all the lyrics, but the ones you DO know remind you of something? Jake was in Israel, and one night as I was praying for him that song played. Heh, it plays all the time now. But it doesn’t just remind me of him anymore, although it always does, but of other things which have happened in my life.

“Smooth”, by Santana. Jaimie. I first heard it at her 16th birthday party, which was the night of homecoming last year. It’s totally last year… it reminds me of so many things, but especially that former best friend, or friend at all. “Mambo #5″… Gabe. Everytime that song would play I would have either just seen him recently, or would see him within the next day or two. (Last year, I mean…) He liked that song, and I guess before I truly examined the lyrics I did too. We were in Jaims’ car, I guess, when I found out he liked that song. And then there was the night when I figured out that the song was ABOUT Gabe. I hated that song for awhile, but now it just gives me a few bitter-sweet memories. I dont’ mind it for that reason, I guess.

“Make Somebody Happy”, the version which Bill Evans, jazz pianist, played… my depressed phase of last fall and marching band. That as well as my Oscar Peterson CD. I can’t listen to it without thinking of all those bus rides, of all those nights that I would lie awake in my bed and look at the stars. Of all those times when I couldn’t find a point in anything except existing. But I listen to those CD’s with no regrets, because I do love them no matter the memory.

“I Try” by Macy Gray. Mmm, it takes me to the winter, I guess, more than any other time. I think it was basically Andy that it reminded me of. I related my reactions to him by that song. (Now I should shoot myself for having done that, lol…)

I could go on and on, I guess, but you get the point. The music marks me forever. Between pictures and music, everything is very much real and alive from my past. It can be so incredibly fulfilling to look back. Especially on days like this, where I can breathe, and the sun is out with an absolutely blue sky, gorgeous leaves of various colors dropping to the ground, a cool breeze and a warm temperature of 65. It’s a gorgeous day, and I’m in a gorgeous mood. (Forever destined to be swept away by the colors, sounds, and smells of life.)

@~>~>-dreamergrrl

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