Home for *24* Hours

*sigh* Camp. I really need to write about it, but I just don’t feel like it right now. I’m so tired. I got home like an hour and a half ago and would rather crash. Although most likely I won’t and I’ll stay on here anyway…

The Andy situation was fine. It was a little rough for awhile, but after our missions everything was absolutely fine. Yes, it’s true that he annoys the heck out of me and makes me want to hate him sometimes, but I love him. He’s an awesome friend. When we said goodbye the 2nd time today, (as opposed to the 1st, 3rd, 4th, 5th… etc…) we hugged and he just started crying his eyes out. And it just made me realize that I made it through the week with him as really close friends and that I’m going to miss him.

My mission group this year was really big. 20 people including 2 adults. It was hard to get to really know people because of that – it seemed like I ended up knowing almost everyone a little, but not really anyone really well. (besides Anthony, who goes to my church, and Jared, who was in my mission group with Andy last year) Another problem was the age differences. There seemed to be a lot of 13-14 year olds that were cool in their own way, but were immature as well. Then there were people my age but were really nothing like me. Hmm… I just don’t know. There was this one guy my age named Steve that was pretty awesome. I guess he has few friends where he lives, his family isn’t exactly rich by any means, and he’s led a “rather boring life”. He loved to talk, which was somewhat annoying when I tried to say something, but wasn’t annoying at all. It’s confusing. I guess I sort of like him, but I can’t tell whether he likes me or not. He lives like 2 hours from me, and I’ll most likely only see him once a year, but I thought he was pretty cool. He doesn’t have the internet though, and this upsets me. But anyway, that’s totally not the point of camp.

I was actually pretty impressed with myself. I didn’t get obsessive over anyone (I’m not obsessed with Steve) and didn’t really CHASE anyone like I did last year. That was really pathetic of me, wasn’t it? Instead I just tried to be myself. I’m not saying I didn’t look into the situation, it’s just that it was not the focus of my week. It was cool cause I became really close to a bunch of people I’ve already known. Emily, Becca, Jared, Andy, Christina, Anthony… It was awesome.

I didn’t actually have God truly touch me until Friday morning’s worship service. I’ve been praying for that broken-ness pretty much all year, but something’s been keeping it from me. I was so confused. All week nothing seemed to touch me… until that service.

We pretty much prayed the entire service… laying hands on each other, annointed with oil, just praying and praying. And I found my stumbling block. Leslie. I’ve judged so many people. So many. I’ve told myself I hate her, and I’ve told myself reasons… It was like God was just telling me I had to love her.

It’s got to be the hardest thing I’ve done. I went to her, hugged her, and told her I was sorry. I just burst into tears. We both just cried, and I couldn’t even explain anything. There may be things I don’t agree with, and she may annoy me, but I love her, because God loves us all. But it was so hard.

Until later,

@~>~>-dreamergrrl