Great weekend, but first thing comes first!

I’ll tell about the rest of my AWESOME weekend later. right now I’m afraid I need to focus on Rudy, or Andy, or whatever the heck you call him.

At Cedar Point I went to go find him, and apparently he’d just gotten there. He’d had summer school, so his mom and sister were there with him to drop him off or whatever. So after I got the HUGE hug that I told him I was expecting, I met his mom for the first time. She hugged me! Lol. She was like, I have to hug you – I’ve heard so much about you! How cute is that?

So anyway, we hung out for awhile, and stood in line for the Raptor forever and a day. We finally got up to the top and were in line for the front row when they shut it down due to lightning. He had to leave for communion, so by the time we got on he wasn’t there.

All day I kept running in to him. Well, actually he kept scaring the crap out of me… but same thing.

I didn’t really see him that much on Saturday until the Candlerain concert. I LOVE CANDLERAIN! They are awesome. But anyway, for that I was pretty much in the front, but I had no clue where Andy was. I really wanted him around because we’d been at Reach Out together when we first heard them. Every once in awhile between jumping and head banging and hitting the occasional beach balls (long story), I’d look around for him. Eventually, I saw him – 2 rows behind me! So then we kind of were in the same area, and that was cool.

After the concer we were supposed to sit down in the auditorium, so we found some seats and sat together. They, not being the band, but being the people running the thing, were playing one of his favorite songs. He started crying, so I put my arm around his shoulders – this is what you do at youth events with good friends. He put his head on my shoulder, and I put my head on his head, and just let him cry. Eventually he sat back up, and found my other hand. I was holding a candle though, so I took my arm from around his shoulders and placed THAT hand in his. So we sat there holding hands.

After that we went on the candle walk… I’ll tell you later. But at parts of that he’d put his arm around me or whatever…

Following all of that we had a dance. This was all fine and dandy, other than the fact that I’m not the best dancer and always feel really self-conscious. Of course they had to throw in a slow dance. I was planning on just standing there feeling unwanted with Kate, but then Andy finally decided he wanted to dance. So I put my arms around his neck, just intending to be semi-close, but no like practically on top of each other. Well THAT died soon as he drew me in. (Of course, I wasn’t about to complain.) Let’s just say we were CLOSE. For instance, had someone tried to insert a dime between us, they would’ve had a heck of a time.

Following that rather nice moment that does not belong in my life at all, the fast whore-ish music started back up. But was he dancing with me? No, he was drooling all over Leslie. GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR. I have issues with her, and it reminded me of last summer. I mean, I know he doesn’t have any reason to be faithful… because, um, we’re not together. I just was very confused about the whole friendship/more thing… and I semi felt like I was being used. Does that make sense? Well, maybe it will…

Another slow song came on, and again I planned to just stand there, because honestly his drooling was making me nauseous. He came behind me and put his arms around me. I sort of stood there for a few seconds before pulling away, turning, looking at him, shaking me head, and receiving this LOOK from him. I don’t know. It was horrible.

This morning I finally found him to talk… basically all we said was that we were sorry and we were both confused. Didn’t solve a danged thing. We also didn’t get a chance to say bye… but I’ll be seeing him in less than a month. I just don’t know what the heck to do!

@~>~>-dreamergrrl