I hate liking the wrong people

OK, it’s time to name my friends. I always thought that was pointless, but it’s the only way. Ok, a few entries ago I had ‘Red’ ‘J’ and Red’s boyfriend. Let’s just call him Guy, for lack of anything imaginative. Let’s rename ‘J’ Curious in honor of her screen name. Anyone else I’ll supply as we go.

To begin with, Guy is a senior, and the rest of us are sophomores. Curious was the first to be in love with Guy, then Red. Red won the battle, after Curious was devastated and not treated fairly at all. Let’s just say Curious (my best friend) hates Guy. I, however, am friends with Guy. He is my best male friend. I am also good friends with Red.

I am in love with Guy, and I can’t do a darn thing about it. I find myself wishing they would break up – a horrilbe thought for a friend to think. I keep thinking how much he’s more like me than her. He has very similar morals, we joke around all the time. We flirt, because he is basically a flirt even with a girlfriend, but then again she flirts with other guys too. It’s basically a shallow surface relationship with very little depth in it. The one thing holding them together is the fact that they’re content, I guess, with babying each other and being adorable. ARRRRRGH. Ticks me off.

But anyway, you can’t hate either Red or Guy. (with the exception of Curious hating Guy) I love them both as friends, and have a blast whenever I’m around Guy. His quircky smile makes me smile and laugh, and whenever we make eye contact, I never want to break it. And I usually have to, otherwise neither of us ever would and we’d just sit there like fools the whole time.

And so, as people, such as Spy (OD), have told me to just forget about it, to act like nothing happened, I can’t. We’re going to Myrtle Beach soon, and I’ll be spending more time with Guy. We’re in the same band, and Red and Curious are in a lower one. While much of the time we’ll be mixed, half of the time is spent with the bands segregated. And I’m not going to know what to do with myself. I know I can’t do anything, but we’re going to flirt. I know we will. I can’t not flirt back, his flirts don’t allow for that. There was already a party this year (not a party party – I don’t go to those) and the two of us spent most of the time together. As a group, but with us together. We both flirted more than ever and I had an awesome time. But afterwards I hoped and prayed to God that no one noticed. I felt so guilty – like I betrayed Red. But geez I loved it. And he’s such a moron cause he never even realizes that he does it – never felt remorse because he betrayed his gf. He’s oblivious.

But oblivious or not, I still love him!

@~>~>-dreamergrrl