Mama

 It might sound as if I have either forgotten mama or that I am indifferent to her. That isn’t true. I love her with all my heart. She has been a constant presence and influence.  I grew up watching her work side by side with daddy. That meant my naturally shy mama had to learn how to deal with customers (some of them not very nice) as well as dealing with my daddy’s sometimes volatile moods.  It also meant that she had to learn how to be a locksmith. She didn’t enjoy it but it was a job that had to be done. She had every ambition of becoming a nurse. In a very real way that is exactly what she became.

She is very much a lady. She is soft spoken, slow to anger, meek and full of grace and wisdom. She is also beautiful. I have heard people say that she is the definition of the perfect Godly woman. She is also something I will never be. If I attempted (and I have tried) I would be choking down everything that is ME. We are almost polar opposites.

I have heard it said by many different people that when mama and daddy got married she was like a shadow that moved from room to room without making a sound. My aunt’s opinion was that she was in fact "afraid of her own shadow". Before you begin to think of her as a door mat nothing could be further from the truth.

Mama  is one of the strongest most determined people I have ever met. She adamantly refused to ask for help from someone who had refused her in the past. If this meant that she had to walk 10 miles because of a dead battery rather than phone one of these "people" then you can bank on it that she walked. Her take on things was "The Lord will provide. If (insert name) doesn’t WANT to help then someone else will or God will give me the strength to do it myself".  To mama an offer (no matter how large or small) begrudgingly made is of no benefit to either party involved.

Mama always wanted to be able to sing but the poor woman can’t carry a tune in a bucket. She is intelligent and articulate but she can’t tell a joke to save her neck. You know before she starts that the PUNCH will just go "fizz"  but she will be laughing herself sick. She also tends to gravitate to those corny jokes that make you groan from the pain of it all.

Mama was a faithful, loving and devoted wife to my daddy for over 43 years. She was also his nurse for most of that time. She has the right to move on and find happiness wherever it presents itself. She seems to be extremely happy with her new husband. I sincerely pray that all her hopes and wishes come true. She deserves no less.

My sister is a carbon copy of mama. I am the out spoken one, the square peg. I am also the one that is usually called upon if there is an unpleasant situation to deal with. I don’t enjoy confrontation and I definitely do not enjoy hurting someone’s feelings. Having said that I will not stand by while someone I love is mistreated or even slightly neglected. If that means that I am perceived as abrasive or unladylike so be it. I am not above dragging someone outside by their ears if that’s what it takes.

I believe that I was created with my strengths and weaknesses for a reason. If there was no need for someone with a voice that was loud enough to be heard then I would be soft spoken. If there was no need for someone who was willing to roll up their sleeves and "knock some heads" then I would gladly sit serenely on the verandah and sip sweet tea.  Since there definitely IS a need for these qualities that leaves me sitting on the steps, nursing bruises and wiping sweat and feeling decidedly scruffy most of the time.

While I could never hope to measure up to the standards mama sets, that won’t stop me from wistfully admiring her, wanting to be just like her, and being eternally grateful that she is MY mama.