open letter to the dregs of humanity

A long time ago, while I was busy doing all the things that you are "supposed to do" so that you don’t end up in prison (or even worse, bring shame or disappointment to your family) I met a boy. That isn’t really accurate. The boy was almost a distant memory and taking his place was the man he would become.
He was everything I wanted to be. He was wise in all the ways that counted. I had never laughed so hard in my life. Integrity, determination and strength were evident in everything he did. When he held my hand I felt all the scattered pieces of "me" settle and become something else entirely.
His kisses left me breathless and dizzy but I enthusiastically pursued the loss of equilibrium and oxygen. Breathing is highly overrated. As intoxicating as those kisses were, the embraces were even more addictive. When he wrapped his arms around me I felt cherished, protected and loved. It didn’t matter what was happening "out there", because "here" was indescribably wonderful.
We have been together for a long time. For better or for worse are not just words. We have lived them. The loss of jobs and the stress that raising five children brings have caused more than a few gray hairs and sleepless nights. Losing two babies broke our hearts but didn’t break "us". Watching the people we love suffer and die had us climbing on furniture to escape the flood of tears but no matter what I always knew that he was right there.
Now all these years have passed and I know this man better than I know myself. I know the way he thinks. His reactions in almost any given situation are not a mystery. The man I married is not a chameleon, he has never practiced situation ethics or altered any aspect of his "being" for a particular person or group of people. Some people might call that predictable or boring. I call it security. If he tells me that he is bringing me the ocean one cup at a time then I had better start digging a hole.
When someone decides that he should change the man he is to suit their agenda I lose perspective. The arrogance of this insignificant speck of humanity fills me with indignant rage. He is too "this" or not enough "that". The attempts to marginalize their own shortcomings by deflecting would be laughable if they weren’t so potentially lethal. I suppose I should actually feel pity for these suit-wearing voids but I don’t.
The man I married has a backbone of steel and always does what he thinks is right regardless of the fall out. He works harder than even I can comprehend and he does it for ME. When someone questions his ability or his dedication I honestly fear that my face might soon grace the walls of the post office where my grandfather worked.
Two in particular bring to mind a weasel and a ferret. My apologies to weasels and ferrets everywhere. I am beyond angry or disillusioned. I am MAD and if you have never encountered a Southern woman when she is pitching a FIT then I suggest you up your insurance.

 If these ladder climbing drones want to know the true depth of his dedication perhaps they should pay a visit one evening and watch my husband toss and turn as he tries to get some rest for yet another 16 hour day in hell. On second thought I shoot first and I am not in the mood for questions.
To the masses (their number is LEGION, or so I am told) who think he is an ASS and call him worse (usually behind his back because that is what cowards do) just let me say.. Damn straight. That’s why I married him. I like him that way. Perhaps if you spent a little more time emulating him and a little less attempting to find non-existent fault you wouldn’t look so constipated and miserable.