She is gone

I have been worried about Sweetie Pie for weeks. She was being beaten up repeatedly by Honey Bun. He was literally biting her in the face. When her eye swelled shut I seperated them. I gave her frequent warm bath soaks and watched her constantly. She wouldn’t eat and only rarely responded to me. I thought she was getting better. I really did.
This afternoon I got her out of the tank and took her to the sink for her "spa". I knew something was wrong when she didn’t immediately lift her head above the water line. She just laid there. Then I got down really close to her and noticed that there were no bubbles. None. I went into panic mode. Her limbs were still soft and pliable but there was no resistance when I gently pushed on her back legs and tail. I stroked the top of her head and rubbed under her neck because she always liked that. Nothing.
The kids noticed I was upset and they all gathered around the sink.
Nothing I did got a response. I think I even begged at one point. She was still warm even before the bath water so she couldn’t have been gone long. Sam got a shoe box and we wrapped her in some soft toweling.  The boys buried her in the side yard. Sam even marked the grave for me.
It might sound silly but my heart literally hurts. I have cried until I shouldn’t have any moisture left in my body and yet the tears keep falling. I know she was a turtle. But she was a part of my life for a long time. I took care of her every day. I loved the way she would turn her head and look at me with such a serious expression. She was such a dainty little thing compared to that big hulking brute of a boy.
If the human heart has an endless capacity for love then why do we have to continually lose the people or animals that provide us with that love? It can’t be in order to make room for more. I just don’t understand. I am really tired of my heart being used for a punching bag.