Family is Family

The past week has been hectic. Allie’s mom had her new baby, a little boy. He gave us a scare because he even though he was full term, he ended up in the N.I.C.U. I hope that it is not a sign of things to come with that young man. After all the problems they had with Allie it would be nice to just have a healthy baby. Hopefully he will be cleared today so that he can go be with his mom in her room. 
The story with Allie is worse than a Jerry Springer episode. I can’t go into the gory details but the main point is that her grandparents (who are NOT the people they presented themselves to be initially) are STILL here in town. Allie’s mom is just a sweet kid that has had two kids. The only bright spot in all of this sordid mess is that we still get to see Allie. We love that little monkey. It is very surreal to hold her because we have had complete strangers comment on the fact that she looks exactly LAUREN. There is no escaping it. Allie has gained weight so she is pleasantly squeezable and their noses are even shaped the same. It is almost like my little girl was plucked from the past and dropped into my arms again. As long as she is healthy and happy all of the crazy adults can just go jump off a cliff as far as I’m concerned.
I have been hip deep in genealogy for the last few weeks. There are dead ends and amazing surprises. My husband’s family is giving me a huge headache. According to official records the line begins and ends fifteen miles up the road. I swear it is like they didn’t "come from anywhere". They just sprang up and started spawning. Logically I know that is not the case but these people have left absolutely no paper trail. If I didn’t know better I would think they were in Witness Protection. I like a good puzzle.
Yesterday Lauren asked me to go with her to the hospital to see the baby. I found out at the last minute that my cousin was in the hospital and hadn’t told anyone. He had already been there three days at this point. The man is suffering from the almost the same thing daddy had. He has had open heart surgery, is a major diabetic and has now developed emphysema on top of everything else. He is also a bachelor who lives alone. This man was good to my daddy. Lauren and I both said, "Oh I don’t think so!" and went out to visit him.
We arrived as the doctor was doing rounds. At just after 4pm the nurse (who was a MAJORLY strange bird) came bouncing into the room and announced that Ken was being discharged. Only moments before the doctor had said that he was going to be staying one more night. It was mass confusion. In the end they were releasing him. A few minor details that no one seemed to care about were the facts that he had to have a nebulizer (which had to be obtained from a medical supply company) and enough medication to choke a horse. It was Friday evening and everything was closing. Ken lives ALONE. He has 30% lung capacity at this point. Did I mention that the man drove himself to the hospital?! I was seeing red, purple, and green when I heard that. 
When I mentioned this to the staff their reaction was, "And?" I just looked at the nurse and told her, "One of these days missy, one of these days you and your cohorts will be in a position where you are helpless and have to depend on "professionals". God help you."
Ken seriously had every intention of driving himself home from the hospital. I don’t think so. I grabbed the prescription for the nebulizer and made a mad dash to the supply company. The sweet lady had kept the store open for me. I picked up the equipment and then raced back to the hospital. While we waited for the staff to do whatever it is they do before they toss someone to the wolves we had a lovely visit. Ken knows all the family stories from my paternal grandmother’s side of the family. Our grandmothers were sisters. He was raised by his grandmother so he was exposed to a lot more of the drama. It is fascinating stuff.
 The poor guy is very emotional. He asked me questions about daddy. He wanted to know if daddy "knew" he was dying. I tried to reassure him. Daddy was not stupid. He "knew" he was very sick but we didn’t give him a lot of time to dwell on it. Ken doesn’t have anyone distracting him. Let me clarify. He didn’t  have anyone before. I have the vastly unmarketable skill of being hugely distracting when I put my mind to it. Ken asked that I go with him to visit the cemetery where our great-grandmother and her family are buried. Hopefully he will be feeling up to it next week. It will give us a chance to visit and him the opportunity to tell me more stories. Did I mention that he also has all the photos? The man has the only portrait of my great-great grandparents in existence! I am so getting copies.
 We managed to get everything packed, the endless paperwork signed and an escort to the curb (which is basically where they were sending him) by 7:30. Ken was exhausted and weak. Lauren drove my Tahoe and I got Ken’s car and drove him home with a quick stop on the way for his medicine.
 Did I mention that no one had bothered to show him how to use a nebulizer? Lauren and I got him settled in bed. I hooked the machine up and Lauren prepared his first treatment. At just after 9pm he was breathing a bit easier but clearly exhausted. We gave out hugs and he set his alarm as we were leaving. I also have his solemn promise to call someone if he needs help. When he gets a bit more of his strength back that man is going to get such a pinch.
This is a harsh world we live in and there is no sense in making it worse. He has a full life. He is a retired teacher with a lot of friends. There is more family (albeit distant) than you can shake a stick at. Yet he didn’t feel comfortable phoning someone for a ride to the emergency department? Please. I am still wrestling with how that makes me feel. I am torn between having a good cry and kicking something. 
The whole time we were with him he kept apologizing for delaying us and for being such a bother. I told him to hush. Obviously Someone was watching over him. Lauren and I were exactly where we were supposed tobe exactly when we were supposed to be there. It was all for a reason. Yes we were exhausted and starving when we finally started for home. But we felt good too. 
I had been home long enough to take a good breath, eat a sandwich and kick off my shoes when the phone rang. It was Ken thanking us again. I think I finally have him believing me when I talk about the pinch. If he doesn’t call one of us next time something happens he will definitely need a doctor by the time I am finished with him.