Swore a bit. Sorry.

Things seem so trivial today. There’s so much suffering in everyone I knows life that being here at work just doesn’t seem to mean shit to me right now. I’m trying to give a rat’s ass about post visits, rounds and the daily routine, but with all my friends and family going through hard times (and to a far lesser extent, myself), those things just don’t seem to matter in the least.

My friend, colleague and co-worker has a family member with a serious, terminal illness and it’s only a matter of time. It’s sort of surreal for me because it mirrors my Aunt’s death so much that to hear about it puts me back in that place I was when I lost her. And I guess that helps me sympathize, but the wound still hurts like hell even after a few years have passed. I’m really pulling for her aunt to come through and be good as new but…I guess if that isn’t the case at least I can say with honesty that I understand what she’s going through.

My cousin is losing his apartment this month due to his idiotic drug problems. I can’t say that he doesn’t deserve it, but I can say his children don’t deserve it. They shouldn’t have to pay for the sins of their father. Nor should his girlfriend for that matter. I can’t say she’s innocent but this one wasn’t her fault. I don’t know where they will go. My aunt is still taking care of one of her kids and that little apartment she has doesn’t have room for him, his girlfriend and 2 more children.

My other cousin may lose her scholarship (which I’m not supposed to know about). She may still have a snowball’s chance in hell but it’ll be a pure-d miracle if she does get it still.

And then there are all the people here about to lose their jobs. I hate the look of sadness in their eyes when they ask me what is going to happen to them and I can’t give them an answer. All I can do is repeat the company line: "*** will do their best to relocate you to another contract…" but there’s only limited space. The new contract will only require 4 of them. Five at most. That still leaves at least 10 with the option of unemployment and/or waiting to hear if a space opens up.

I won’t even complain about my life, though there’s more than ample room to bitch about this and that. It just doesn’t seem right at the moment. All I can do is wonder if there is any justice in this world for the good people. I don’t want to see someone lose their aunt or kids with no home or the one person in my family in at least 3 generations who has a chance at college lose it or all these people without jobs. I just want some peace that these things will turn out right. I’m praying, begging God on these people’s behalf, that their lives will improve and that they will be okay. But… well, most of you know how those things tend to go for me.

A few videos for these people. My apologies to those of you who may not be able to view them. Apparently there’s been some issues with that.

For V-Dub: It’s a hard song to listen to but in all the sadness of the song, there seems to me to be a bit of hope. It helped me get through the last 4 deaths in my life.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GOt6EFqUubk&ob=av2e Social Distortion "When the Angels Sing"

For Mike: A hard lesson to learn; a song we grew up with that none of us seemed to learn from.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xsp8DmgtjHY The Offspring "Way Down the Line"

For Rachel: For a laugh and a little hope.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rfUYuIVbFg0 Journey "Don’t Stop Believing"

For all you about to lose your jobs (though equally valid for all of us): Keep on fighting the good fight! Chin up and all that!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QEjgPh4SEmU&feature=related Survivor "Eye of the Tiger"

For my own sorry self: Quitch yer bitchin’!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a2i2_MABXNA Hatebreed "Perseverance"

Peace all; I’m out.