Drugged

For the past few days, more than a week already, I am too drugged to wake up and get out of bed as usual.

I’m taking this antihistamine maintenance medicine for my allergic rhinitis at bedtime (which is 3am or 4am for me), and I won’t even know if someone farted or whoever came and went in my room. I’m too deep in my sleep that I won’t wake up until 12nn or 1pm, even if I set my alarm at 10am or 8am, if I need to do something. I don’t even remember if hubby says goodbye to me before he leaves for work at 8am.

One time I woke up at 10am when the alarm went off, then I started reading my phone messages, next thing I know it’s already 1pm – with me still holding the phone and I haven’t finished reading all messages!

Yesterday, I woke up at the sound of alarm at 8am and really dragged myself out of bed because I had to go to this place to check on something. At 830am, I was again about to fall off to sleep. So I played with the baby and bathed the baby, but by 9am, I really cannot stand straight, so I went upstairs and slept again. I woke up again at 1pm, with just 2 hours to take a bath, have lunch, prepare my office lunch and play with the baby.

I still have 2 more tablets to take. I hope I won’t have to take it anymore. Although I’m thankful for it’s sleeping effects (because before I couldn’t sleep), it’s making me lose a lot of time with my baby. Sometimes when I wake up, baby Marc is already sleeping. And then when I sleep again, he will wake up, and when it’s time for me to go to work, he will be sleeping again. I want to go back to the way we were before.

Or, find another job – which is also what hubby wants. At least, baby Marc and I see each other for awhile and if I’m lucky, I get to bathe him and play with him with the little time I have. Unfortunately for me and hubby, we only see each other during weekends. I go home and he is sleeping. He wakes up and goes to work while I am asleep. So I wake up and he will be gone, and when he gets home, I will be in the office.

Sad. Makes me remember the Italian story set in German occupation time about a husband and wife who are never together in the same house because they have different shifts in their work. So, when the wife (not sure who’s on morning shift/evening shift) gets home from evening shift, she will just greet her husband who is about to go to work, then she will sleep on the same side of the bed where her husband slept. And she will just content herself with sniffing what’s left of her husband’s smell on the bed sheet and pillow.

Not sure about the exact details of the story, just what I vaguely remember. Anyway, I don’t even recall the title. Oh well. Hmm… Maybe later I will sniff hubby before going to sleep… hihihi

it’s me,

figliarina lacrimosa