Why indeed?

Today I asked myself why I exercise. I don’t know why it popped in my head. Maybe I was feeling so sleepy and I didn’t want to get up and go to work, or maybe it was just something else.

Anyway, I passed MY test to MYSELF. Hahaha

Why do I exercise? My short-term goal is to reduce (and eventually eliminate) the pain I occasionally feel in my knees. I don’t want to take any more medicines. All my life I’ve been taking lots of medicine, especially antibiotics. Now I am taking charge and opting for healthier options first before resorting to chemicals. The Doctors say that it might not be a bad idea to exercise and lose weight as an alternative to taking medicines for the pain. And for more than 2 months now, I think it’s working. I only feel the pain from time to time, I’ve lost 11 pounds since I started 2 months ago. Doctors say I only have to lose 1 pound per week, and I think I’m on the right track. I still have 30 pounds more to lose and that’s 7 more months. That’s in time for our 3rd anniversary in April. I still have time.

Ultimately, my goal is really for baby Marc’s sake. I want to be there for him whenever he needs me. I need to be able to guide him properly and mold him into a better man (the way I see children should be, or people should be). I’m not saying I want him to be perfect, but in his own way, if I raise him well, he could make a difference to someone, or to a group of people. In this shitty world we live in today, we need other people who will inspire us, who will be with us no matter what, who will make us feel like we’re the most important person in the world. Okay, I’ve been sidetracked. What I meant was, I want him to be a good person, period. When he becomes one, and there are people who will need someone to inspire them, to make a difference to the world, or something to that effect, I trust that I have raised my baby well enough for him to make a sound judgement and decide for himself the best course of action.

But for now, I am enjoying our time together, and I intend to live long enough for him, as long as he needs me, or even if he thinks he doesn’t need me anymore, I’ll still be here for him.

Why am I sounding so weird all of a sudden? What’s gotten into me? I need a chocolate right now.

it’s me,

figliarina lacrimosa