Weird Mood, Long Day, Yep it’s Monday

I woke up in a weird mood.  I dreamt all night so I’m tired and I’ve been mainlining caffeine all damn day. 

I just need a minute.

Sometimes I feel like I’m constantly going.  I work 8-5 Monday through Friday, in addition to working at home 3 or more nights a week to stay afloat.  I’m getting my Master’s Degree so every Sunday I’m doing schoolwork.  I’m paying off debt to my parents… $6,170 paid… $3,330 to go.  I’m saving up so I can move on March 1st.  So I’m constantly watching my money.

I drive constantly.  I’m between San Marcos, Austin, and Georgetown.   I have clothes hung up in the back seat of my truck, and shoes on a rack in the very back.  I have a bag that is always packed, and a gas tank that is being constantly refilled.  Fortunately, I budget enough for gas every month.

On top of that I have two bills that came recently that are a result of my ex.  One for $224.  One for $442.  Weird, that the numbers are switched like that.  Even weirder, I just noticed they total out to $666.  Well isn’t that fitting.

*deep breath*

I know I have brought all of this on myself.  I know I don’t have a right to bitch because I made my bed.  At the same time, there are just days when I feel completely exhausted.  And at the same time I feel like I should be doing more at work, because I take time to surf the net a bit or write or whatever…

Trav asked if I was mad this morning.  I wasn’t.  I definitely wasn’t mad at him.  I was just tired.  And I don’t want me being exhausted to wear on our relationship.  I really don’t.  That worries me – that I could have a negative effect on a relationship with such a wonderful guy.

I know he understands, but it’s still a small worry of mine.

Some days I just want to curl up under the covers and sleep the day away 🙂

Back to work…