help me PLEASE

2/20/08

Aimee has been having some really strong agree issues.  Today when I picked her up I told her how proud I was of her for getting two smiles in a row.   Then I looked at her progress report and I couldn’t believe it.    I got a letter from P.E. stating how she isn’t doing well.  So I then told her about her progess report.  Then she blew up at me.  Telling how much she hates that school, her family, blah blah blah.  So I got home and I went to go clean up truck and left her alone. Well then things just got worse.  She screamed and screamed and screamed.  So then I called Chris and ask when he was getting home.  He asked me why and I told him.   His response put her to room.  Well I decided to come inside. 

Once I got inside things just got worse.  She started laughing at me.  She called me a pussy and a her brother a wuss.  She just went crazy.    She told William she was gonna kick him in the balls.  

I then went into Aimee’s room and decided to take away the one thing she loves.  Thinking that would work.  But that hasn’t worked.  Chris called me and laugh about me what she is doing.  He told me that she only does this with you.  And that this is what she wants.  I don’t do anything and I let her go and she gets worse.  I fear for Williams health sometimes.  I try punish her and I get in trouble for that too.  So it seems like no matter what I do I can’t win. 

Right now I am ignoring her and she is telling her brother she is gonna hurt him.  Calling him a wussy.  Telling me she doesn’t have a mother.  How she hates her family. 

It seems like no matter what I do, I can’t win.  I know she has anger issues but why on me and her family.   We do everything  for her.  We reward her with things.  I’ve taken things from her.  I’ve grounded her.    I really don’t know what to do.   I put her in girl scouts but I’m not sure that is gonna help.  I actually think it is a bad idea now. 

I really am losing my mind.  I know she is probably needs counseling  but Chris doesn’t think so..  Then not to mention, I’m afraid of what she can say.  Yes we spank her.    I won’t lie.  But we don’t hurt her.  I love Aimee a lot but I don’t know what to do.  I really don’t. 

I hate it when people tell me how perfect there kids are.  There is NO PERFECT KID.  I try to do so much with her but it doesn’t seem to matter. 

2/21/08

Well it has started again.  She didn’t go to school this morning.  She woke up this morning ok.  But we went to my grandma’s house and she didn’t have her school clothes.  So I told my grandma that she need to take a shower and that she needed to borrow some of Kayla’s clothes.  When I called at 645am to see if Aimee was up.  She told me Aimee wasn’t going to school because she refuses to go.  And my grandma wasn’t gonna deal with it.  Today was the first day I couldn’t leave work.  So what was I gonna do?

so then I pick her up and my grandma is crying.  She told my grandma how much she didn’t care about her and that she could die and not care.   So my grandma was really upset.  So then I need to go to the bookstore.  That didn’t make her happy because she couldn’t get anything.  So I leave there and go to Best Buy to look for things.  She was yelling in the store bad mother bad mother.  So we left.  I got her to the truck and I popped her in the mouth.  Then when I stopped she tried to jump out.

I call Chris thinking I could vent. 

But he was no help.   he was like she is only like this with you.  And that you need to make her afraid and understand.  I don’t want her to be afraid of me.  but I want her to behave.  I thought being able to talk would help me.  I told him I was gonna snap.  Not to mention my health.  he hung up on me.

We get home and it starts all over again.  She is telling me she isn’t going to school…blah blah blah.  I love Aimee so much.  It scares me that she is like this and I have no one to turn too.  I thought I would turn to Chris but he never wants to hear it.

I try to so hard to be the "perfect" wife/mom.  (I know there is no perfect).  But I come home and I cook/clean.  I am trying to do my homework and can’t.   I allow Chris to do what he wants.  Never my turn.  Even though I know I could.  But it is hard when you are tired all the time. 

right now I am not happy.