I feel hurt

I honestly believe that I am a good person.  I never say anything to anyone.  I do whatever people ask of me.  And I will do anything for anyone.  So why I am on the one that always gets hurt?   I honestly thought I had some really good friends in my life but apparently I was wrong.  I’m getting stabbed in the back left and right.  But you know what is funny…I feel just as hurt from my own family. 

I always tell myself I’m not gonna let it get to me.  But it does get hard.  I give my heart and soul to things and people and I get the shitty end of the deal.  I help people out and they take but then the next minute they don’t care.  I wish for once people would put my feelings in to thought.  Its not like I want a lot in life. 

This honestly is why I want to move.  I love my family and friends to death.  But I’m letting way to much get to me and the more I do that…the more I am getting stressed.  I know moving may never happen because of a job chance for Chris. 

I really wish I could see my niece mom.  I miss her a lot.  But I know she is getting a new relationship with her mom.  So I don’t get to see her much.  I really really miss her.  I hardly get to see my aunt because of my hours at work and then she doesn’t like to stay at my g-mas house long.  Now she will be going back to work so I will never see her.  I wish I could have a bond with my sister but we never had a relationship.  Lauren, my best friend, I haven’t seen her in FOREVER.  I just saw Amanda this weekend.  It was nice to see her. 

Honestly I don’t know what to say.  But to be honest  with you, I have so much more to say.  But I have people on here that I know and they will say something and the last thing I need is to start more drama.  I have a lot of that in my life as it is!!