Sunday

I appreciate that you came by and asked me about that. And let me first say thank you for using a private to ask your question – that was kind of you. I am sorry for anything I did that resulted in an injury to you (your loss of friendship with Chuck, as well as anything else) and others. I won’t make excuses for what I did / how I acted back then. (c)

However, I honestly don’t remember “faking” suicide. Now, if I did that, I was acting crazy and was way out of line. However, I was suicidal during that time and was eventually diagnosed and hospitalized for severe depression. It took me a couple of years to really begin to get my head above water and start thinking about a future. Again, I am very sorry for the injuries I caused you. (c)

Clearly you believe I’m at least partially responsible for your loss of friendship with Chuck; so obviously I am responsible for hurting you. I take responsibility for that and humbly ask your forgiveness. However, I understand if you choose not to accept my apology and/or forgive me. I have been reading a few diaries off and on for years; however, (c)

I was reticent to start a new diary here, not because I was afraid of what people would say to me (I’m sure whatever they say I probably have coming,) but because I didn’t want to open up old wounds for which I was responsible. Now it appears my fears in that regard were well founded. I do hope, in the end, you can understand that people can get help for their problems and (c)

make changes one step at a time. I’ve tried to do that and maybe, just maybe this will also give hope to someone out there – I can only hope so. But regardless, I have chosen to move forward with my life, and for the first time in years I feel like I am really doing something positive with my life. I have not forgotten where (c)

I came from, how dark things got for me and I still see a therapist regularly. But I am doing my best to move forward. So, once again: Thank you for taking a few minutes, coming by my diary and leaving me a private note. That was kind of you – I kindness I, in all likelihood, don’t deserve. Peace to you,

The above was supposed to read, “a kindness I, in all likelihood, don’t deserve.”