3/30/04
Ive been keeping busy while still off work, recovering from surgery. A few weeks ago I took over as power of attorney for my uncle, and have been trying to straighten out his affairs. Before I took over, his sister was doing this, and since taking over, it is becoming apparent that she (and her husband) have not been operating in his best interest. I have the unpleasant task of assessing damages, and having to use the legal system to try to recuperate at least some of what has been lost. Its hard because this is MY aunt, as well as his sister. It helped when my uncle finally told me that from the beginning, my aunt said she did not like me. At first this hurt my feelings because I have never done anything to warrant that kind of statement, but now that I have become involved, I have a good idea why she said that. I think she knew that if I got involved, I would find out how much they have taken advantage of her brother. He trusted her with his financial affairs, and now they will be exposed.
Aside from the financial matters, I have been doing as much as I can for him now, so that when I go back to work (back to 12-hour shifts) there will only be an occasional appointment and weekly shopping, etc. Oh, and we have just gotten a bankcard. **smiling** Hes a virgin cardholder. His sister would buy his groceries bi weekly, bring them in and immediately leave. My thought was to take him to get his groceries, but to let him do it on his own and pay for it on his own. Having a card means he doesnt have to handle bucks and change, something that could become somewhat confusing. He likes doing his own shopping, and I can imagine that it makes him feel more independent, actually participating in his life. He wants me to take care of his monthly bills, and I can do that, but at least he will know what his bank balances are, something his sister never kept him informed of. (things that make you go hmmmm?)
Yesterday we went to a shoe store that specializes in shoes for diabetics. Well over a year ago, they had talked about getting a new pair of shoes but it never happened. After measuring his foot, we found out that he was going from a size 10 medium, to a size 12 double wide. I think once he gets his new shoes, hell be able to do a lot more walking. He likes walking, but doesnt get out much. Hopefully that will change.
You know, I cant understand how anyone, let alone family could abuse or take advantage of someone who is in need of help for some of the things in life that most of dont give a second thought to. I was reading a wonderful poem that had a couple of lines in it that Id like to share here:
For God has sent you a host of protectors
Directors, objectors, connectors, inspectors.
That thought touches my heart and my soul.
Its a lofty goal to think that I can be all those things for my uncle but all I can do is all I can do. In return I feel as though I have been sent directors and connectors of my own.
KARMA – Intentional action that is a deed done deliberately through body, speech or mind. It is a natural law that every action produces a certain effect.
Yesterday I went to my 2nd Alanon meeting. It was amazing. But thats another story.
And it’s a story we look forward to hearing. Good for you, taking more responsibility and building in more freedom for your uncle!
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You are on such a journey of help for the Uncle and I am once again disapointed in human ethics but not surprised at your Aunt’s actions. They probably spring from a feeling of entitlement but that is another problem entirely.
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What your doing for your Uncle is, more or less, what I do for a living. Bravo for you for taking him to get new shoes. Little things like that can mean a world of difference to someone. Also, letting him get his own groceries was brilliant! Your the kind of niece that everyone needs!
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Ahhhhh. Good. What is the name of the poem? I’d like to read the rest of it. Hugs,
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Kudos to you for taking care of your uncle. it’s disappointing to see that your aunt would take advantage of the situation. does your uncle know what she did to him? I’m glad you stepped in…sounds like he has more of a life now and living it more.
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You definitely are a blessing from God! Warm hugs & Smiles………
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I’ve been working up the courage to go to al-anon. You are such a thoughtful person. Your uncle is so lucky to have you.
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ooh, sounds like a mess is brewing but it also sounds like you are handling it well, very well. I don’t understand how family could take advantage of family either but have seen it before. Good news on the al-anon! ryn: yeah, pretty much. She got what she wanted/needed I suppose. In return, I learned a few things I didn’t know – had some questions answered. Do I totally trust that it’s over. No.
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Well, bless you for coming to his rescue! I’m sure your aunt is miffed that you’re now clued in to her shameful behavior. Re the shoes, are his feet swollen or why the big size change? Whatever the reason it’s so good he now has you. Eager to hear about the Alanon meetings. Hugs and smooches, P. at
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This only serves to confirm that you are indeed an angel … a rescuer! i look forward to reading the story about Alanon.
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ryn: would you believe we are just now starting — all that wallpaper has been sitting around waiting for the builders to finish up their work. They finished what? two months ago? Four cans of paint later I found the color I like to match may sailboat paper. I was having difficulty because one was too light, one was too yellow in the sunlight and the other one, etc.
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as soon as I’m finish I’m taking photos and sending them off to you since you helped me.
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thts such a nice thing ur doing for ur uncle. ryn; thnku. take care, love always xx
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Thank you for your kind note. DIL has recovered but a little nervous, but that will ease in time. We heard from the other driver and he is coming along just fine and said he is giving up driving. Oh, the poor soul! BTW, how is your recovery coming along? 4/7/2004 10:32:50 AM
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Your dad shopping reminded me of my dad, when he got to that point of needing us more & more. My sister & I wd. take turns going down once a week, cleaning our parents’ house & taking him shopping. When our backs were turned, he wd. throw into the basket, 4 or 5 msg bottles, 3 or 4 lbs. of coffee, some bags of sugar, etc. I think he was going thru. WWII again, when those things were hoarded.
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Hope you have a Happy Easter BBe!
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*smooch*
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Thinking about you. MISSING you. Where ARE you?
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