1/20/07

The shop that I work at has a very unique talent when it comes to the hiring of new apprentices. The talent is that out of all the people out of work right now. My shop seems to be able to pick out the ones that have gone threw out their entire lives without knowing that they are retarded…not just a little bit retarded, full on 100% moron.

Lunch time at work.

I’m sitting in my chair reading my paper and trying to block out the conversations of the 2 fools that I eat lunch with. V has about 5 years experience in the trade , just bought his first house. Smart guy . C 1st year apprentice has about 6 months experience. I don’t really deal with the 1st or 2nd year guys. They start working with me when they have 3 or more years experience so I don’t actually know this kid. He’s only been in our crew for 2 weeks. And the kid is scared shitless of me …lol. Fucking pansy ass 1st years.  So V it reading the sports page and talking to C about nothing when he reads allowed that Canada is ranked 87th in the world ranking in soccer. C asks V what the hell he’s talking about and says something along the lines of there not being 87 countries in the world. I can see it now. I must have looked like a thinner version of Archie Bunker when I folded down the corner of my paper so I could give C my what the fuck look. V shakes his head and tells C that there are a hell of alot more than 87 countries in the world and asks me if I know how many there are . I said at least 200. I checked later and it’s 193. I was close. C pipes up that were both stoned and proceded to add up the countries of the world…Ready for it ? Get a pen if you want to jot this down. Africa, Russia, Europe, Asia, North and South America, the United States, The middle east, Austrailia and Mexico. Thats it people 10 countries…This proud graduate of my countries education system forgot to mention his own fucking country. I fold my paper and just stare at this kid. blink a few times and tell him that even though it was quite impressive how fast he rattled off  all "10"  countries in the world , I think he may have gotten his continents and countries mixed up and I believed that he even tossed  a region into the mix and that he forgot to mention the country he was sitting in at the time. C tells me that I’m wrong and goes on to explaine that Canada is in North America just like England France and Italy are " Cities " in Europe. Me and V ….Completly  dumbfounded. Someone should slap his parents for raising such an idiot and after your done slapping the parents…Beat the crap out this fools Geography and History teachers. "C" I said in a calm and even voice…" Stop talking now. " He starts to say something and I cut him off again. " C Shut up or talk about something you have a clue about" . C shut up…Me and V pissed our pants afterwards.

Our shop is full of these scholars right now. How fucking easy has our schooling become when a guy like myself who spent his entire highschool experience stoned or drunk looks like a fucking member of the MENSA society compared to thes newly graduated highschoolers.

The lunch was earlier in the week. Tonight C hurt himself at work. He borrowed my new die grinder and a carbide burr. A carbide bur is used to shave or shape steel. when inserted into my new grinder and truned on the burr spins at 36,000rpm and the harder you press on the steel you want to remove, the faster it cuts…It’s so fucking cool. Anyway C borrows my tools and I tell him to be fucking careful and to try not to hurt himself. He goes to his work station, attaches his air line and turns on the grinder then proceeds to see if he can stop the carbide burr ( which is designed to cut through solid steel ) with his fingers. Its my brand new grinder, it’s almost impossible to stall this thing out on steel but hero tried to do it with his fingers. He’s now the proud owner of matching quarter inch deep grooves in his thumb and pointer finger. At least he was smart enough to let go of the trigger on the grinder before he hit bone…Then again maybe it was just a pain reflex that made him let go …Can never tell when it comes to these brainiacs. I told C to look on the bright side and see that he now has formed fitting fingers for pencils and drinking starws! he didn;t see the humor. He was pissed at me for making him clean my grinder and burr with alcohol.

Oh fuck it …it’s Friday night. I’m going to turn on the tunes and open a bottle of jack …possibly burn one …definatly burn one…HAVE A GOOD WEEKEND FUCKERS!