An Old Freind Says Hello.

Wittnessed and accident this one morning in the " TImmy’s " drive through …For your poor americans that don;t know what " TImmy’s " is…poor poor creatures. Timmy’s or Tim Hortons  is Canada’s version of a donut shop only way better than that Krispy Kreams or Dunkin Donuts crap. Timmy’s  Is second in Canada only to the "Beer Store" . So I seen a guy drive into another guy …fucked his new mustang up fucking serious. So anyway we’re waiting for the police to turn up so that I can give my statement and get the fuck out of there…The 2 jackasses involved are still bitching at each other …It’s fucking cold out …I’m sitting in my car where it’s warm …better music.

The cop car pulls into the parking lot and I decide to wait until the cop is done sorting out dumb and dumber before I interupt ..

Ever had one of those moments where you have an instant flash back at the sight of a certain person…Had one of those …The cop …fucker.

** Flash Back ** about 5 years ago …I"m bombed….hammered…It’s nothing but freak luck that I still have motor skills at all. The woman who picked me up at a budies x-mas party passed out about 3 seconds after she told the cab driver her address….An apartment building….goody …I have no fucking clue what number is her address….I don;t know her last name …they never put peoples first names on buzzer listings…I felt bad laying her down on the sidewalk when I paid the cabby after dropping us off  so I was trying to hold her up and go through her purse to find her key  and something with her last name so I could get her home…and possibly take advantage of her…ok …So anyway I’m struggling with holding her up so i decide to drop her on the grass in front of the apartment building while going through her purse…Did I mention that I was all lit up …Staggering ….Weeving…more than a few wobbles tossed in for good measure…deep in thought , trying to figure out how to open the little strap on this broads handbag….fucking things are perplexing …whats wrong with a fucking zipper?…Deep in thought and more than possible so deep in thought that I didn’t hear the officer telling me to freeze…3 times…I finally hear someone telling me to stop what i’m doing  …To this I reply " Go fuck your mother." …It’s all in the police records. So I tell whoever is yelling at me to go fuck his mommy and He maces me ….maces me and slaps hand cuffs on me ….arrests me for mugging the chick…Calls for the drunk wagon …I’m in a steel box on wheels …bouncing down the ever so shitty roads of my fair city …Bouncing  too much … can hardly breath …nose running …eyes stinging …the fucking box bouncing…much bouncing stop now  puke ….puke …oh god puke …shirt red wine barf…What the fuck do you mean take off my belt and shoe laces?…

About 4 hours later MY friend who hosted the party and the woman who the officer thought I was muggin bailed me out …no charges laid …Rookie cop …not even allowed to carry a gun , which by the way I’m more than thankful for….fucker would have shot me dead for sure …lol

So yeah …the cop who reports to the accident is the same cop …instant recognization…For a split second a thought ran through my head that somehow this is all going to end with me laying face down in the parking lot experiencing the wonderful sensations of pepper spray and being handcuffed again …I know he has the same flashback as I do …I seen it in his eyes….I gave my statement and got the fuck out of there…came so close to  asking him if he’s maced anyone lately , but I didn’t.

For those currious perverts out there. Yes I did end up sleeping with the woman… It sucked … Not my best effort.

Adios fock’os