High Schoo Daze

I’m in a yappy mood today for some reason . oh well lucky you… poor fingers.

So anyway . I was a bastard in highschool… the classic 80"s headbanger. long hair tight ass jeans, sunglasses and a fuck you attitude….lol…I love the highschool me , even if the teachers didn’t. So anyway it was nearing the end of my grade 11 year and the yearly school field day to Cedar Point was quickly approaching.  Par for the course just before any of the schools major trips they called a certain amount of people to the one gym and laid down the law. This meeting of the general shit disturbers was also the time and place where they tell certain members of the audiance that they are not allowed on the trip…the fuckers said the names right out loud for everyone to hear. Imagine my shock when they said my name…lol…fuckers! It seems that the state of intoxication that i showed at the last event has finally caught up with me. Well at least i won;t be alone…about 4 of my budies had thier names called as well.

Imediatly after the assembly had let out we already had plans for the road trip..Timmy was going to drive …His dad had a huge fucking van. The plan was set…we’d all stay at one guys house and get up and follow the school busses…didn’t even need directions. Perfect!.

Just because the school wouldn’t let us go with them didn’t mean we weren’t going to go !.lol.

Around 5 am on the day of the trip my fellow idiots and i were well into our third joint by the time we hit the border as for drinks we had no problem. one of the other guys ( poor bastarb) was balding and looked at least 24 years old . We picked up a case of beer at the duty free shop at the border without a hassle. Now seeing as how Cedar Point is one of, if not the, largest amusement park in the united states . It’s more than likely that at the end of the school year , we wouldn’t be the only school having a trip there. But can you imaging our delight when we realized that we were going to be able to shoot moons at convoy of school busses!…Ours was the best though, Timmy kept creeping past them and then slowing down to let them pass so we could moon them all over again …it was fantastic…right up until the state police pulled us over …and yes!…the kids from our school got to see us pulled over on the side of the road…lol…fucking karma.  the cop actually turned out to be pretty cool and let us off with a warning , didn;t even search the car…I think a bunch of canadian Highschoolers on a class trip would have been too much of a hassle for him to deal with , and besides…we were almost at the state border…lol We would be Ohio’s problem in 15 minutes!…lol. Sure enough after a day of complete laughter at the park  we were politley asked to leave by park security. It seems that Randy and some other kid who’s name I can’t or don’t want to remember got caught breaking into video games in the arcade. Once again I think us being a group of canadian kids would have been a bigger hassle for them then it would have been for us to be kept at the park waiting for the police and trying to charge us…easier to let us go . lol. Timmy pulled into a White Castle to get something to eat and thats about the last I remember up until being awakend by Timmy a few hours later. He was asking me for gas money. I remeber pulling out a wad of american money and handing it to him…It all looks the same to me. I think it was about 12 bucks…I remember putting my head back against the window and trying to fall back asleep when I started to wonder how much longer till i was home in bed..I called out to Timmy who was pumping gas as to where in the fuck we were. He said Columbus. I along with the other groggy van mates snapped right to attention…well all except for randy and the other idiot…they had no money left so Tim Didn’t wake them for money. Anyway If your a bunch of Canadian teenage guys in a van in the wee small hours of the morning in another country …the last fucking place on earth you want to be is in Fucking Columbus Ohio…What a fucking shit hole. Now I know that i shouldn’t judge a City by it’s charactors that you meet at god knows what time int the fucking morning , but it was fucking early. And lets just say that the higher escelon of Columbus Ohio’s society weren’t on the streets that night. Morning. Whatever. As Tim was filling the van and gulping down a package of NoDoze pills ( cafine )  and a few colas I was explaining to some homeless guy who i almost pee’d on  that it was purely a mistake…just a kid needing to take a leak.  He said that for 5 dollars he’d forget the whole thing. I told him that for 5 bucks i should get to piss on him…got a big old toothless laugh out of him…I made a friend. I didn’t realize that most people talk down to the homeless like it’s thier fault…I never saw any homeless people while growing up so I didn’t know any better….I’ll be more disrespectfull to them next time. Promiss.

 Anyway i almost shit my pants when homeless guy tells me that his name is Joe and the guy that owns the gas station calls him toothless joe…I pee on the building in honor of my budy Toothless Joe. I can call him that …He said so …said it was because i said it with respect.   LOL…silly homeless people. He said that we were lucky that the gas station was here because the after hours club accross the street was no place for kids like  us to be at this time of the night . I turn to look at the club just in time to see one of my budies walking srtaight through the front door of the club. SHIT. Dave was completly fearless he would fight anyone , didn;t matter …this idiot liked to fight. And since Dave was so completly fearless of anyone , it made him a complete pain in the ass to be one of his budies. I learned how to really fight because of him. I thought for sure that we were dead…we had to go in after him…don’t ask me why , but it’s some stupid guy thing about leaving a man behind…randy and the idiot were still passed out in the van so Me Timmy and Steve ( bald guy )  gave him 5 minutes and then headed in .

 The palce reeked of American cigarettes and beer…real shit hole. I didn’t notice the smell or anything else for that matter . What i did notice was Dave being held up against the wall with a shotgun stuck in his gut. Timmy almost ran straight up Steves ass as they were bolting out the door. Me …I’d like to say that I was calm and cool under the situation. I wasn’t …all i did was stare at Dave and say FUCK. Dave started to crack up imediatly  I don;t know how , but in 5 minutes he set up the perfect prank on us and talked the guy behind the bar into doing it to scare the shit out of us. Turns out the guys at the bar laughed thier asses off when they found out that Timmy drove a couple of hundred miles in the w

rong direction and felt bad for us. Remember this Question. " Do you know how to get back to the interstate?" Timmy’s reply " Yeah."  that was it …get back to the interstate and go the opposite way …simple really.  You would figure that when Timmy said he remembered how oto get back to the interstate that he actuallyt remembered…and to top it all off , He’s starting to litterally bounce up  and down in his fucking seat because of the package of cafine pills and some new kind of cola " JOLT"  ( wasn;t in Canada at the time)  Now i know that I only glimpsed a small part of Columbus but the parts I saw…man…shit hole. Detroit is still the biggest toilet on the planet but at that point in all of my 17 years Columbus was a close second. We ended up flaggin down a cop and him leading us back to the interstate after reading us the riot act for being so stupid.

 We got back home just as around school was letting out for the day so we stopped by to say hi to everyone and that way Tim could just go straight home and we could all catch out busses…the perfect end to the perfect plan.

For the last few weeks of that School year we were gods…we invaded the United states and made it as far as Columbus …lol  We were the stuff of legends and within the first week the stories were embelished way out of proportion ( the is a boiled down account but as accurate as I can remember). The principal wanted to suspend us but all he could get us for was skipping school for the day …Our parents had given us permission slips to miss school the day of the trip…..the Perfect crime.

I was also banned from all school trips for the rest of my schoolastic career. It’s all locked away ..in a file called my permanent record… I’t going to follow me arround for the rest of my life. It’s probably why I’m not the fucking Prime Minister.

As for toothless Joe ( respectfully) we never crossed paths again.

 

Later fuckers