Setting Boundaries

It’s been an interesting few days.

I won’t get into things too much, but I’ve started to set boundaries and say "No" when I actually can’t do things I’m being asked to do. I started doing it with my mom and sister, the two people who are constantly expecting me to go above and beyond for them while abandoning me in my own hour of need.

It honestly feels pretty good, although strange feelings of guilt do tend to plague me.

I’ve also started to finally do the same to Sean. This one has been harder, because he can be selfish at times but it’s not constant or blatant. But he knows that I’m having a tough time with it and has actually been encouraging me when I say no.

Have I mentioned lately just how much I love this man? Because, damn, I love him.

My travel to Richmond has been booked. I’ll be staying right in the downtown area. I need to look into some activities for the weekend I’m there. I’m actually really excited! The nervousness about the plane has changed to resignation. If I need to ask for a seatbelt extender, I need to ask for a seatbelt extender. There’s nothing I can do in this short of a time, and there’s no sense in being nervous about it until it happens. I’ve been more active and eating better, but that’s more for my own health rather than to just lose weight for this trip.

My hotel looks badass. It’s a Doubletree by Hilton (holla!) with a rooftop pool. 😀

It will also be nice to be away for two weeks. I really wish that Sean could come with me, because I will miss him terribly. But I think it will be a good way for me to avoid all of the hulabaloo with my sister moving.

It’s hard not to feel selfish, saying no. But it’s really helped me preserve my sanity.

I feel like I’m in a really good place. The only frontier to conquer is my weight and physical health. My mental health just feels like it’s where it needs to be. I’ve found the right medication for my anxiety and am working on conquering my social fears as they come up. I know what a good life I have, and I enjoy life.

I’m slowly backing away from the negative people that pervade my life. For the first time in many years, I’m excited for Christmas. I’m excited because Sean and I have elected to host a traditional Christmas dinner for our friends – the people I consider our family, for all intents and purposes.

I’m not sure if I should be unhappy that my family constantly wrecks my holidays, or happy that I am finally escaping this nonsense.

On another note, I am now le tired. Time to do some research on Richmond. 🙂