hard

Im having a hard time with Doug…I dont know what to do…or if I can do this. I know what I did was wrong…its so wrong! I hate myself for doing it…but the fact that I hurt him haunts me…Its not that he holds it over my head…he doesnt…he just cant forget it. It haunts him too. Its hard…the moment I want to give up…I cant. I love him so much.

He’s never said I love you…this is the longest I’ve ever dated someone and not heard those words…I realize this is more of an adult relationship and he’s being careful…and probably when he would have told me I cheated on him.So that probably put things on hold a bit.

THis is hard….thats all I have to say.

We are going away to Longboat Key the weekend of the 24th and 25th and I am excited….I just wish we could fast forward. I want to move on…but we cant. Time will heal this. It just sucks.

EDIT::::::

So everytime we have a rough conversation we have an incredible conversation after….I am so in love with him. Mark my wods…I’ll marry him.