dj

i dont know why else,

   but because of the normalcy you bring,
the structure,
the smiles, the pain.

the intense feeling,   that i am afraid to let go of you,
               the feeling that our bodies blend in to one anothers,
our thoughts are obscured, intertwined, our words often so trite
                                    but so pure; well intended, but often misunderstood,
mistaken, misinterpreted, as though we spoke different languages.

we build up walls surronded by walls
     and watch as one falls
and leads to another
            and another
   and we are defending as if we have something to defend.
like we are not two broken people
   who think they may have found the way up.
                           or out.
like we havent just found everything we never knew we always wanted
  in the most least likely person.

we fight with our heads and our hearts;
    and our words, (which i often run out of, unlike thoughts).
                    i’m afraid of my heart controling my head,
   making myself stupid in all definitions of the word, in all the ways ive always laughed at other peope for;
                          and you, you could let your head end it all.

 the thought thats always creeping up,
  the feeling of uncharted territory.
        the place beyond expectations,beyond anything at all definable,
beyond all the feelings ever felt, beyond the feeling of gasping for air when your stomach
   is about to explode,
the uncotrollable tingle you feel in your spine
   when you realize there is no where else in the world
          you would ever want to be.

the most disguisting, and disturbing, and beautiful thing i have ever felt.

                                (love.)