i was hoping (we could crack each other up).

for what its worth i would like to apoligize to anyone who had the misfortune of reading my last entry. i was drunk and stupid and there is the epitome of the reason why i dont ever want to be 21.  im ok, really, i am.

the weather. oh the weather. it makes me feel like a fucking million dollars. it makes me want to spin around in cirlces till i cant stand, fall down, hug the ground. the dry, warm ground. this is what i live for, the change of seasons. warmer weather where it doesnt hurt to breathe outside, where you dont have to run from one place to another, and leaving the house is worth it just because.

it’s going to be okay. i know this. i don’t know how or when or why, especially how, but i know that things are going to fall in to place. because that is what happens. we go on, we live, and we look back on the past knowing it couldnt be any different. we cant really think about the things we didnt do, because we didnt do them. we cant really regret decisions because we dont know how the other would have turned out. we just have to hope that it would have turned out worse than it has.

hope. its a funny thing really. you go to bed one night forgetting what it feels like and wake up the next morning with a sparkle in your eye and a smile on your face. sometimes being happy is the only thing that can keep us being happy. like addicitive.
and i hope it lasts.