break away the ice.

when the summer comes i want
to scream at the top of my lungs
release all the pressure thats been built up
cry all the tears ive felt in my body.
i want to say how long its been now
and know the memories will never change
know that it will never completely go away
and finally cry for all ive lost
instead of laughing when it hurts
instead of lying when im down
instead of secluding myself in my head
in my body, in my heart.
i want to stop comparing
life to something
it will never be again,
stop comparing people
to who i thought were my friends,
stop comparing myself
to who i thought id be in the end.
when the summer comes
i want to say this
is how it all should be
and this is where im supposed to be
i am this, and this is me
acceptance never comes for free.
i want to admit it all
write it down
sound it out
and not be ashamed
or regretful
and know the past that id be losing
will be worth the future.
when the summer comes
i will put it all behind me
erase it from my memory
throw it away
set it in fire.
i will enrage in to emotion
any emotion
any true emotion
and do what i need to do
feel what i need to feel
say what i need to say
.
and no one will hear
as i let it all slip away.