just forget.

its been a long time now
i always have to remember
and i keep telling myself
it’s nearly december
 all the dates
are engraved in my mind
it goes by so fast
though i have no concept of time.
life is consumed by
the things i don’t know
where did i come from
where did you go
when will i stop
thinking about this
and when will it stop hurting
and what did i miss,
when will i get to stop wondering
when will i just forget
why am i the only one who cares
why is this all i get.
i force the words always
the ones that i should say
the way i should think
when thoughts get in the way.
i have a knot in my back
for each thought on my mind
paired with a million reasons
for this place and time.
what would i say
if i could
i don’t know.
but i think id have to ask you
why cant i let this go.
when it’s so obvious
that there is no alternative
why cant i just forget,
put it in the past
not regret
or decifer
or compare
or wonder
or be aware
or question
or think
about any of the things
i have no control over.
just forget.