I wipe sitting down, AMA

 This is the longest break I’ve taken in writing since I revamped this diary. I can feel myself becoming more bored and distanced with writing and I’m going to try and curb it. Too many times in the past I have started a diary, got bored, and never used it again (only to come across it years later, delete all my old entries, start writing again in the vain hope that "THIS TIME I’LL KEEP WRITING!" and start the whole process all over again). I really do like to write but often I think my life isn’t very interesting and I go through phases where I’m too self-loathsome to reflect on myself at all so I just sink into arbitrary distractions and neglect writing altogether. Either way, I’m going to push myself to write as much as I can. I don’t know why but it feels important to me for some reason. 

I have this "friend." Why the quotations? Because lately he hasn’t felt like much of a friend. I’m starting to wonder if he ever was. I met him through Boyfriend (he happens to be Boyfriend’s best friend) and for a while the three of us were inseparable. No one ever felt like a third wheel and neither gender roles nor relationship status ever played a negative role in the friendship. After a while, I started to notice things. They may seem small or trivial but added together and in frequent amounts, they begin to be a problem. For starters, he is one of the worst listeners I’ve ever met. When I’m speaking to him, he won’t even look at me and I can just tell he is not only not listening but most likely not even hearing me. He also interrupts me constantly. I usually stop talking if someone interrupts me but if I didn’t, he would just keep talking over me until one of us was done speaking. (I have actually seen this happen first-hand. It was almost laughable.) He is very inconsiderate and rude (never cleans up after himself, tracks dirt and sludge across my nice hard-wood floors, insults the music I’m playing while incessantly whining that we should listen to what he wants to listen to, etc.). He is constantly trying to get me to do things I don’t want to do to the point of it being borderline bullying. We also have almost nothing in common. I’m honestly getting to the point where I don’t even want to see him anymore. He lives about an hour’s drive away from my town and since I don’t drive and he works and goes to school, we don’t see each other that often but even the once-every-one-or-two-months visit is too much. I am so over these piece of shit people. Let me meet some winners for once.

I think I’m getting a cold sore. I hate cold sores. They make me want to cry and kill myself (I’m only just slightly exaggerating). I only get them around my mouth (I’ve had them since I was a baby; blame my mom) and only about once every couple of years but it still makes me feel like the most disgusting, terrible, horrible, disgusting, terrible person on planet Earth that should be living on her own island. Wow, I am so dramatic, aren’t I? I just have a really horrible fear/aversion to STDs, especially genital herpes. I go into OCD mode whenever I get a cold sore, washing my hands if I just slightly brush the quadrant of my face where the sore is because I don’t want to spread herpes to my genitalia. Is this TMI? Fuck you, this is my diary.

Speaking of TMI: Did you know there are people on this planet that wipe their ass STANDING UP? So weird. I’m going to go continue watching Lie to Me now. Ain’t Tim Roth great? I love me an Englishman.