‘I Did everything for you’

Im still poorly poorly sick 🙁 My head hurts whatever I do, my ears are still ming, my throat hurts and i’ve generally got a cold – yuck! Brilliant, right on Christmas!
However, I have a week off work now so yay! I’ve wrapped all but one present which needs to be finished tomoro. Im not feeling festive at all tho this year! Normally, i’d be singin and dancing! But maybe i’m thinking of the events of 2007 and how, it’s not been the happiest of years.
Last night was really weird – I had a dream about this random guy who was at work for a christmas party. He was really hot and my type but I never got the courage to speak to him on Friday. Well in my dream, i did and he was sooo nice! Goddam reality! But I woke up all sad. As soon as I woke, the first thing I thought was maybe I should’ve given Stu another chance. Maybe, the night where we had the heart to heart alone by the uni. If only I had said yes. What would’ve happened? Would we be together now? Would I still be travelling necxt year? I hate thinking like this! Goddam!!!!

I really dont wanna be alone again for christmas but it’s a little late now to find mr perfect in time. Fingers crossed for next year eh? Meh i’m in a down mood now. Jodie is comin round soon, she’ll understand. I still have the bestest friends in the world that i’m proud to call my mates. People that i’ve had to make the effort to know and not just know through others. I really cant wait to leave the UK next year. I really hope that it does my head good and that I turn a new leaf and forget all the shit thats happened recently. I really do.

Song for today – Sufjan Stevens – For the Windows in Paradise, for the Fatherless in Ypsilanti. Song off the OC and is wicked. The song just reminds me of what I did – came out to make it easier for Stu, Well that was pointless eh? But hey, still loving the song!!!