x.Words.From.A.Friend.x

"i was really hoping you didnt have to leave. i just need someone to talk to i guess. everday i say to myself…well, i get to talk to her tonight. i look forward to it everyday. when go to bed i think, i wish i could have been happier talking to her. and i tell myself that i will tomorrow.
but each day seems like less and less.
but it is still all i look forward to each day. its been a while since i’ve had this pain but its come back again. and my bad habits have come back again and are getting worse. like..biting my nails… i feel so stupid. because my hands are so messed up. i need to stop. and i really wish it was that easy. i really wish i didnt have to say all of this just to get attention.
this is really bad.
i have no idea what im going to do…i just hope that i do the right thing. you are the one thing i care about most, i really love you, and you mean the world to me.
all i ever wish for is for you to be happy, and heathly, and safe, and warm, and loved, and be able to love, and i ask god to hold you in his arms :-), and carry you when you are weak, and be with you everyday. and i pray for all that is to harm you would rather be placed on me. and even it were to take my life, i’d want it to be for you. and i would do anything for you.
anything…
but i wish i could do anything for myself too.
goodnight."