Going Back to Mom’s

I’m actually going to go visit my Mom again on 2/8/05. I found a really cheap fare so I’m just going from 2/8 morning through 2/10 evening because my aunt will be there too and I haven’t seen her in four years. My mom is anxious for her to see me now that I’ve lost all this weight. Sometimes I think my mother is more excited about my weight loss than I am. Weight is a very big issue in our family. People make a lot more out of body size and shape in our family than is healthy. It is quite dysfunctional and although she is trying not to make such an issue out of my weight loss and trying to be politically correct in her statements, it’s quite clear that my mother loves me more as a thin person than as a fat one. Just the fact that she’s paid for me to come visit her so much more frequently is one indicator. I would be willing to bet that I wouldn’t be flying down there on the 8th if she didn’t so want to show off how much weight I’ve lost to her sister. Nevertheless, I’m just going to look on the good side of this and enjoy the rewards that come with the surgery and with the work I’ve put in to look this way. It hasn’t always been easy to say no to the snacks I’ve wanted to eat or to force myself to do the extra activity that I’ve done to whittle the pounds off so I might as well get the rewards from that. I am very glad I lost the weight but I can’t help but be mad at our society when I think about how we have taught ourselves to value thin people more than fat people. It makes me feel angry and bitter when I think about it. I thank God, though, over and over again that He arranged for me to have the surgery and that He has given me the strength and where with all so far to keep it off.

My boss is in Mexico right now so you would think that work would have been easy today. Instead I was really sweatin’ it. I did a whole stack of amendments. I was nearly comatose by the time I left I had been concentrating so hard! Today’s his birthday so I hope he’s having a good time. I brought in a cake on Wednesday afternoon and we celebrated his birthday in advance. He seemed pretty chipper then so I’m guessing things were smooth between him and his wife at the time. He talks loud so his phone calls had made it pretty clear all was not well in paradise the previous week. She, apparently, had been under the impression that he had seen somebody he shouldn’t be seeing in a way he shouldn’t have seen! All was very dramatic and interesting (no eavesdropping required, he talks really loud on the phone). I felt sorta sorry for him because I got the impression that maybe it was all completely innocent but just looked bad. On the other hand, what do I know? He could be sleeping with half the world and I’m so gullible I’d thinking he was just having dinner.