Back Home

Well, I’m back home now. I was up at 4:00am (EST) and caught an early flight home. The view from the plane was particularly beautiful because of the snow but also because the air was so clear over Chicago. The city was wonderful to look at… it seemed so petite yet glorious (and I usually don’t like to look at cities much). Still, I guess since after all these years, Chicago is so familiar, I’ve come to sort of love her in my way and it was wonderful look down at the city surrounded by a partially frozen and snowy lake. I wished I had my digital camera handy but it really wasn’t. I have taken numerous pictures of the city from planes so hadn’t bothered to pull out the camera for this flight. I wish I had, however, because the recent snow storm left everything looking a little fresher and a little different.

My daughter and granddaughter came to pick me up at the airport and it was really wonderful to see them. My resolve to never have them take care of me in my old age was even more firmly cemented. I know it was very hard for Mom to see me go today. Life is much more pleasant, fun, and comfortable for her when I’m around. That, in turn, makes me feel pretty good because who doesn’t love that kind of validation from their mom?

I’m having some weird inner turmoil, though, about what I want from my life. I don’t know. I think sometimes it’s better if I just don’t think about that and, instead, focus upon what I need to do to help improve other people’s lives. If I try to be the best mother, wife, daughter, employee, friend, and church member I can be, I’ll be too busy to worry about MY life. Then part of me says, “Well, isn’t that then like the wedding where you didn’t have a dress?” but the other part says, “Relax and let GOD worry about what HE wants from your life. That’s the best way to spend it,” because life, I guess, is a little like money, and you only have so much to spend. Since it’s finite you have to choose the way you want to spend it and I think my best bet all the way around is to turn it over to God and let Him choose the best way it should be spent. If I do that, then I’m bound to come out with something I’m happy with in the end.