Life Altering Events

I was thinking, yesterday, about life altering events… you know, the things that happen that change your life forever. One example for me would be my father’s Alzheimer’s Disease. From the time it first surfaced, it was a life-altering event. It changed my view of the world and of life. It was, however, a very slow process and so was my change. Another life-altering event has been watching my mother grow old. It certainly altered my idea of aging and what it would mean to me.

There are things that will shift your paradigms. These events begin when you’re born and continue to even this moment, but most life altering events happen so slowly that they are more like life-transforming events becaus a transformation seems more like a slow steady process.

There have been a couple of events in my life, however, that have caused an immediate shift. A sort of “does not compute” alarm has gone off in my head and some solid paradigm instantly had to go. Now that I’m older, I can wistfully yearn for that moment BEFORE the event. When I was younger, I just had to grapple with the new thought processes.

One such moment happened years ago when my father told me I couldn’t invite the best friend (who was black) over for dinner. My parents had always raised me to see all people as equals, but it was apparently lip-service for my dad. He was from the south and he was prejudice. Interestingly enough, he ende up becoming very close to a black vice-principal that worked under him (as principal) and it turned out that HE was invited to dinner. But that hadn’t happened yet when I had my friend. At that moment, my dad ruined himself in my eyes and I had to accept that he wasn’t perfect.

Another such moment was when my husband broke it to me that my pastor had taken money from the church. As I began to understand there was no accident or misunderstanding here, I had to adjust my paradigm about this man of God. I knew he wasn’t perfect and I knew he was somewhat egocentric, but I would have NEVER believed he was a thief. And, after I found out, I half-wished I would have never even known and had my faith in his leadership be broken.

It’s not that I was idolizing him or anything, it’s just that I felt SURE that his intentions were Godly in most of what he has done. That was not true, however, and that knowledge is something with which I continue to grapple.

I believe myself to be a fairly stable and practical, well-grounded person, overall. How are those who are less stable and grounded going to get through this time of upset? Only through God, my friends… Only through God. But WILL He?