Praying for Our Enemies II

(III. My Own Emotional Reactions)

As I watched this show I became so enraged with the traffickers but even more so with the clients.  We wouldn’t have to worry about women being sold into prostitution if there were buyers out there… it’s all supply and demand.  The whole thing made me sick and angry – horribly upset.  Additionally, I figured we wouldn’t need to enslave men to pick tomatoes, etc. if we weren’t such a greedy nation and so eager to pay low prices and have more.  Then I actually sort of made myself sick thinking of all that I have and how I always look for bargains.

I was furious.  I determined to begin praying on a regular basis for the poor victims of these international crimes and I began to think, “Thank God there is a hell.”  So often I think, “How can God really be a good God and yet let his children go to hell?”  I wonder about those who haven’t accepted Jesus but who seem so good and do so many good things.  I wonder about those who haven’t accepted Him and don’t do such good things but who are so dear to me.  I know that God’s plan is the best… for Himself and for us… there is no doubt in my mind.  But I keep trying to reconcile these thoughts so that they can both exist in the same heart.  And when I think about these things, I think that I don’t want to see anybody go to hell!  Then, watching this show… I mentally rubbed my hands together and thought with angry satisfaction, “Just wait until these guys see judgment day!  They are surely going to burn through eternity and they deserve it!”  I went to bed with that thought on my heart and in my head. 

At the same time, however, something just felt wrong.  Something in my spirit was pricking me.  I didn’t like how happy I was over other’s future damnation.  Something was wrong with that. 

(IV. and V. High Point & Low Point – almost simultaneously)

This is both the high point and the low point, really.  When I awoke this morning I began my dialogue with God and He impressed upon me that rejoicing in the damnation of a human being was not of Jesus.  After all, who is going to rejoice more at damnation, satan or Jesus?  That was sort of like a punch in the stomach.  It took my breath away.

(still continued… in next entry) —->