5/26/05

So here’s the deal.  I’ve been seeing Jason off and on for over 5 years, but haven’t talked to him in the past two months.  Before all that, we had the most completely, absolutely amazing sex.  So, I’ve been talking to this guy Adam the past week or so, and I really like him.  Yesterday, we hung out all day and ended up kissig for hours by the end of the night.  He actually told me he loved me right in the midst of it(and I didn’t say it back, I feel horrible), and evern though he doesn’t know me well enough, I think he actually believes it.  He didn’t say it to get into my pants or anything, because he didn’t try anything.  He just lovingly kissed me, spoke in Italian, and made me feel so good.  I actually didn’t feel like a hole to be filled.  So, the dilemma:  Jason calls me when I get home and is like "I want you to come for  a ride with me in my new car".  He hasn’t called me in two months and expects me to just drop everything to be with him.  I figured, I’d get one last night out of the way and make sure he knows that’s it.  I told him the deal with Adam, expect I didn’t mention the "I love you" thing.  Well, I just can’t resist him, and I feel horrible!  I gave him road dome, and then he ended up spending the night.  How horrible am I?  He just left actually.  Plus, he wants me to hang out this weekend.  I think I’m just going to tell him that last night was it.  We can still hang out, because of the history and all, but nothing else can happen.  I really like Adam, and I hope I can be good if we start something.