taking off unnecessary labels, one at a time …

Today’s quest?

Brazenly walk into a diamond/jewelry store and try not to look out of place.

I had this weird whim to do this because it dawned on me that these kinds of stores are completely out of my frame of reference.  Maybe this realization had something to do with someone giving me two pairs of earrings for my birthday and me feeling just a bit flabbergasted.  Or maybe it’s because I did a quick incredulous look ahead to my possible future and imagined someone asking me with a coy grin what my ring size is, and me saying, "Uhhhh ……. "

Don’t get excited, folks.  I don’t actually believe that’s imminent.

But I thought I’d behave as if it were.  I’ve noticed anew since the summer that if I act "as if," things seem to blossom into realities all around me.  I could tell you some stories, but it would take too long for tonight.  (I know this is a lesson I’ve learned repeatedly throughout my life and will likely have to learn again later.)

So, although I was actually nervous, I took myself by the scruff of the neck and marched myself into the store before I could work up a panic.  I imagined that there would be some hidden retinal scan that would set off an alarm indicating that I am neither rich nor seeing anyone seriously, and therefore not a worthy customer.  I felt like an imposter.  I felt like people would be able to tell, just by looking at me, that I am not a diamond-wearing person and never will be.  Where, I demanded of myself, had I gotten these notions?

I busied myself looking at some pendants and then a … what would you call him? salesman? customer service rep? diamond expert? … stepped forward to help me.  He asked what I was looking for and I said, "Honestly, I’m here to learn today.  I know NOTHING about diamonds."

He invited me into a side office and gave me a little tutorial.  I got to look at different gems under a microscope.  It was all really fascinating.  If only diamonds were always magnified 200x, I would find them a great deal more interesting.  They’re gorgeous close-up!

Then I got to wander around at will, trying on whatever I like.  (All the rings were accessible without assistance.)

It was sort of ho-hum.  Sparkly this, sparkly that.  Some of them looked like cakes.  Some of them looked like bottle-openers.  Some of them looked like puzzles.  Some of them looked plain boring.  I was just in the moment, not expecting anything, when suddenly, I saw it.  A simple gold band, assymetrical, with a sort of swoop to it.  A medium-sized diamond in the center.  A little diamond, nestled underneath the larger one, at a lower level, like something organic, like they were two parts of a plant.  I involuntarily gasped.

The friendly diamond expert’s ears perked up immediately.  I said, "Wow.  I didn’t think I’d find anything I really liked but this is it."

He took down the style number and sized my finger, and said, "What we do sometimes is call the gentleman on your behalf, to let him know we have the information and he can make the purchase at his leisure, so that the proposal is still a surprise."

Fought down the ludicrous image of my earring-giver squealing down the highway all the way to Montreal if he received such a call, and turned to the guy and smiled, "It’s a bit early for that, but if I take your card, may I call you later, if I need you to do that?"

He was very obliging.  "Something tells me you’ll be in touch soon," he grinned.

"Me too," I said, totally playing along as his colleagues all smiled with glee.   (They all waved me out the door, calling out things like "Good luck!" and "Go get ‘im!")

Had to fight the urge to laugh hysterically outside on the sidewalk.

Actually, had to fight the urge to be giddy and go look for wedding dresses.

This is so unutterably silly.  Am I Muriel?!  But, as stupid as this sounds, just the fact that I know now that there is a ring out there that I love and could see myself wearing (I find most engagement rings hideous) makes the whole thing seem suddenly, well, possible.

Calmed myself down in Chapters reading Dr. Seuss books and Calvin and Hobbes.

Am now home, and going to decorate my dayplanner with a Christmas countdown to keep the spirit of whimsy alive.

I am not un-diamond-able.