oof

I don’t even know where to start.

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For the first time, I became embroiled in music school politics!  Yay!  I had absolutely no idea at the time that it happened, but suddenly there I was, the centre of a huge struggle involving about six faculty members (that I know of).  Basically, one question at stake was, "Is Music Shivers qualified to coach a chamber ensemble, or should we make sure she keeps working in the office?"  For me, it was a sickening experience at first, because I suddenly really understood what everyone has been warning me about all my life, about the "real world" and how you have to look out for yourself because other people will screw you over if it serves their purposes.  So far, this hadn’t happened to me (that I know of – and I do wear rose-coloured glasses).  And in this instance, it was so sneaky that if another person hadn’t let me in on the details, I would’ve not noticed it (perhaps).

The good thing: Once aware of the true situation, instead of being cowed, I was steel-spine mad.  But, I didn’t do a knee-jerk reaction.  I went about quietly doing my job and preparing what I will say if/when it comes up.  (I didn’t want to snitch on the person who had told me the backstage details.)  The people in the know went to bat for me and eventually were mostly victorious.  It is good to know, too, that the people on my side in the argument included some of the musicians I respect the most around here.

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I went on a blind date.  I wore antlers with sleighbells on them.

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There was another of those moments when U held me so tightly, and I knew: Home.

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This must be a common human experience.

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Wake-up call:

I have so much more good work to do …