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 Firstly, thank you so much for all the kind, thoughtful, and encouraging notes, both public and private, on my last entry. You are fine, fine people and I really appreciate that. I would like to record the next part for posterity. It’s definitely a TMI kind of thing, so if you don’t wish to read that just skip the next paragraph.

The weekend after I was informed that the pregnancy wasn’t a good one I was bleeding quite a bit and cramping constantly. I couldn’t take anything for the pain because there was still a very remote chance that the ultrasound that next Monday would indicate good news. So it was like days of period-like cramps without taking anything for the pain, not fun. The ultrasound on Monday confirmed that the pregnancy was not good but despite all the bleeding, I still hadn’t passed anything. A D&C was scheduled for the next day. On my way home from the appointment on the train I got the worst cramps of my life. They were way worse than period cramps. It honestly felt a bit like how I always hear labor described. So much cramping and pressure and like I wanted to relieve the pain with a bowel movement but didn’t need to go. P picked me up from the train and I squeezed his hand on the way home. When I got home I took two Aleve and immediately got in a hot bath. I just wanted the pain to stop. I had some blood and tissue coming out in the bath and suddenly the pregnancy just came out. It was insane. It wasn’t emotionally hard on me at that point because I had already really come to terms with everything. Honestly, it was fascinating. The embryo stopped growing at six weeks, but even with it being that early, there was absolutely no doubt what it was. P even looked at it. We used a slotted spoon to get it out of the water and put it in a ziplock bag for the doctor. We had been advised to do so. The doctor confirmed through ultrasound the next day that I had indeed passed everything. The tissue was taken to pathology and confirmed to be nothing out of the ordinary.

I’m doing well overall. I feel pretty hopeful and encouraged. It’s hard as the weeks go by and I think about how pregnant I would be had it worked out. I really hope by the date I would have been due in September I am safely pregnant again. Please.

I’m going to share some pictures, because that is fun. I finally found the courage to chop of my hair and did it right before Christmas. Here’s my hair at my friend Amy’s wedding in November. Please ignore my seriously wine-drunk eyes in the first one.

So it would look really pretty when I did it, the problem was that I hardly ever did it and wore it up nearly all the time. So I chopped it off! 

This one is from right after I cut it.

Here’s the pony tail! The salon packaged it up and donated it for me. Cool huh?

Not long after I cut it we were with P’s mom and I mentioned that I wanted bangs, so she cut me some. (Check out the size of that shrimp, we had a really great meal at Mastro’s recently)

Last weekend we had a much-need getaway to Scottsdale. We were invited by a friend to participate in Kurt Warner’s  fantasy flag football tournament for charity.

Here we are on the plane with our his and hers Beats headphones. How cute is my husband?

Me with Kurt Warner after he signed a ball for us. I look like a goon.

And Steve Young signing a ball

P used to work for a successful designer. He is now writing a book and asked P to take some photos for the book in Scottsdale. We we got there it was a serious shoot and interview. This guy is over the top about everything. Here’s P prepping.

In addition to the cool-ass tournament with a ton of NFL guys, P got to go to a Phoenix Suns game with floor seats. He was in heaven. This group of guys always take care of the wives too. While he was doing that the girls had an obscene meal at a Tuscan restaurant where the head chef is friends with the designer. It was such a fun, relaxing, and indulgent weekend. Just what the doctor ordered.