My wedding is in 8 days

Our wedding is a week from tomorrow and we can’t stop fighting. This fucking sucks. It’s the same old shit for nearly a week now it seems. People always say relationships are work and that marriage has it’s ups and downs. P and I have been together for nearly four years and I can already see how easily the peaks and valleys come. Despite all of this, I’m still resolute in wanting to marry him. Our good times or peaks have far far outweighed our valleys. P gets me and loves me and I love and respect him more than anyone I’ve ever known. I hope we have a shift before next Friday and can truly and fully celebrate our love and all the good. I started this entry feeling sorry for myself after we had another fight, and it’s interesting the direction it’s taken.

While there are elements to the wedding I’m really excited about, overall I’m super nervous. Not nervous about getting married, just nervous about how things will go. I’m afraid of things being awkward.  Everyone says it goes so fast and to enjoy every moment. I hope I can do that. I’m really looking forward to wearing my dress, the venue and all the details. It will be really cool to see it all come together. And the honeymoon! We decided to make it easy and didn’t want to do a ton of planning so we’re going on a seven night Western Caribbean cruise right after the wedding. I also just finished my last pack of pills and have my period now. I should be ovulating on the cruise. We’re hoping and wishing this getting pregnant business is easy for us.

I’ve been feeling a lot better with the stress and anxiety and acid reflux. But that probably primarily because I’m pretty heavily medicated. Medication is key during the wedding planning phase, in my opinion. Now I have to figure out how to get this shit out of my system before I hopefully get pregnant.

Anyway, I should probably go make sure P knows I still love him. I’ll post some wedding pictures for those of you that haven’t given up on me.