Shocked

 I got some really shocking news I haven’t really slept and haven’t ate much either yet

 
Been crying on and off about it mad to sad to pissed to relieved 
 
I can’t write about it in here because I haven’t processed it but it hit me like a ton of bricks and feels like shit
 
I am very shocked and it’s some drama I never wanted any part of it I wish things could’ve been done better but shit hit the fan and I feel very betrayed and stunned and hurt mostly right now 
 
Anger hasn’t set in yet but I feel like someone has threw a boiling pot of water on me and continues to stab me with a fork 
 
It’ll get better but for now it is what it is 
 
It’s an oxy moron I needed this but I really really didn’t need it like this and with this really shitty timing