Fried day

 So it’s Friday yay! 

 
I’m doing laundry, cleaning up, I have to go to the drs because my ear infection is back and its causing bad headaches. Ugh… 
 
O still won’t talk to me I sent him a text telling him honestly and non defensively how I feel. I for back his phones not working and hell call me tonight. Well tonight came and he never called. So I sent him a text this morning saying I will not and I cannot tolerate him ignoring me. 
 
I don’t believe him. And I know people might think oh just get rid of him but if you’ve ever been in love and bonded to someone in good and bad you realize how hard that is to let go. I know I have to leave and I know I will. I hear about women staying with the wrong guy for fourteen years and although I can’t judge them completely either I don’t want to make the same mistakes my mother made marrying my father out of desperation, poverty and a deep extreme need for love. Times have changed its 2013, I’m a smart girl I don’t need to settle and I won’t be burned worse than I am now. 
 
Tonight I’m going to go this girls night and maybe have sex afterwards we will see. Get a bit drunk and forget all about stupid O. Actions speak louder than words. 
 
I should prolly be down with my clothes so they don’t get stolen. I went to a good bank for the first time in my life. I hate doing it I hate being around the nosey bitchy women and staff running it. Not all of them were bad. But half the stuff was opened. One chick was pushing cereal on me that was half opened like no thanks. There was some useful things I am not above a food bank it’s not that it’s just I have a hard time accepting help so publicly I have avoided food banks and have not ate so many times because the atmosphere is shoddy at times and people are vultures and some people that work there act like they are saints or something I don’t like charity really it doesn’t feel nice. I think people deserve unopened food for fucks sake. 
 
Anyways. Most was good I take what I could use because I seriously did need it. 
 
I am waiting on some callbacks I am going to do more job searching next week. 
 
I am feeling alot of pain emotionally and raw grief. But I am pushing through it getting shit done. It lifts every now and than. 
 
<div style="font-family: Noteworthy; font-size: 18px; font-weight: bold; line-height: 24px; -webkit-tap-highlight-color: rgba(26, 26, 26, 0.296875); -webkit-composition-fill-color: rgba(130, 98, 83, 0.0976563); -webkit-composition-frame-color: rgba(191, 107, 82, 0.496094); “>I just hope things get better soon.