Skip my birthday

(UH, written on like, Monday… when OD was being a shit face and wouldn’t save my entries. More positive things below, after this pity party right here)

 

Excuse the pity party for this entry.

I decided, since the kickball tourney I was supposed to go to in Portland is full, that I’d plan a little get together for my birthday this weekend.

Made an FB event, that whole thing. Planned a beach happy hour for Saturday.

Invited many, many people, including all of those who were supposed to go to the kickball tourney. I knew they wouldn’t have plans.

Immediately, I kept getting nothing but rejections.

"Sorry, my brother’s in town"

"I think I have something going on that night…"

"I am camping that weekend"

All fairly legit excuses.

But it bummed me out. I don’t like being rejected.

So I canceled the event and decided to just reach out to my nearest and dearests, knowing they’d want to party with me.

Invited Jason. Invited Tanya and Nick. Invited Lisa. Invited Melissa. Invited Dave.

Mind you, I just got back from a camping trip for Jason’s birthday. I went 2.5 hours out of the fucking city, got him moonshine, celebrated his birthday with him.

He said, "I made a commitment to someone else’s party that night, sorry"

I asked whose party?

He said, "Carson’s"

I don’t know a Carson. Apparently he’s just a guy.

That hurt.

Melissa is out of town this weekend.

Dave will TRY to come but he’s working on his truck.

Lisa is backpacking.

Tanya and Nick are also going to this Carson person’s party on Saturday.

It will literally just be me and Paco at the beach.

My closest friends are going to a party for some guy I’ve never met, instead of celebrating with me.

I’m pretty fucking bummed.

 

 

**END PITY PARTY

Sort of. I still have whiny moments.

 

I just scarfed down like two bowls of spaghetti. Ugh. Carb overload. I’m going to need a nap in like 30 minutes.

Great diet I’m on! Ha.

 

I walked 6 miles on Monday, and 2 miles yesterday, and I have kickball today… but the whole working out thing hasn’t been as full-force this week as much as I would like. 

Plus I drank hella wine last night at Girl’s Night and also had whiskey/diet gingers on Tuesday. I’m not supposed to be drinking on the weekdays. WHOOOOOPSSSS

 

I am not loving my outfit at the moment.

My pants are too tight, I bought them when I was skinny minny after breaking up with Will, and now, I’m not skinny minny and yet I continue to wear these pants.

I got a new sleeveless shirt, which I am also wearing, and I keep having to push my bra straps into the sleeves because blue polka dot bra doesn’t go well with a tan shirt.

I wasn’t running on all cylinders when I got dressed this morning, because of said wine that was consumed last night.

 

So Paco and I have been together for 13 months. I’m madly in love with him, I think he is absolutely the best in the whole world and I never have a bad thing to say about him to anyone. Most of the time. Like 99% of the time.

It’s just… in the beginning on our relationship and through the year, we’ve had great sex and I have always been incredibly turned on by him.

But recently… it’s waning a little bit. The sex, when we have it (which is still like 5 times a week) is still awesome like 99% of the time, but it’s getting more and more difficult for me to get super turned on, which then makes things more lubricated and whatnot. You know what I mean.

I don’t really know what to do about it. We’ve discussed using lube, but I wish there was something I could do organically to increase my libido.

I should maybe look up magical pills on the internet!

Or is it because I’m getting… bored? I seriously doubt that. But it happens in relationships.

I want to be like we were before. I literally could not get enough of him. We’d have sex every morning and every night.

 

Anyway.

 

Two of our clients did amazingly well at the X Games last weekend. Our skateboarder got 4th, and our snowboarder got the gold medal in the video contest he was in.

It’s very exciting.

Things are always happier when our clients are doing well.

The Olympics are stressing me out just a little bit, there’s 3 clients that are going (one for Canada, one for US, and one for New Zealand) and the preparation is just massive.

 

My intern is doing much better. I like her now. I think she likes her job a little more too.

When my boss tells a story to us though, she never looks at him. She keeps her head down. It’s kind of rude.

 

I’m supposed to go to dinner with my parents for my bday on Tuesday, and when my mom and I were texting about it a few weeks ago, she asked if my sister could come.

I replied that I’d rather she not… I haven’t had solo parent time in what feels like forever, and it would be nice to keep it double-date style with Paco and my parents. Then I said, I know it’s awkward for my mom to not include Mandy…

And I left it at that. Thought she’d get the hint.

So yesterday, my sister messages me on GChat and is like, "Have you decided what restaurant you want to go to for your birthday dinner?"

…..

I said yes, the same one I went to with mom last year.

She said, (because of her diet) "You pick the one restaurant that I can’t eat ANYTHING at!" (she was slightly teasing, but still serious)

Then she said, "Have you confirmed with mom that we’ll be coming in for your birthday?" 

UGH.

WTF.

So now, the one day that can be about me is going to still be about my sister. I know she’ll just talk about how she can’t eat anything on the menu and she’ll get moody towards the end because she doesn’t like public places and crowds. She’ll probably snap at me for something or other and we’ll all leave on an awkward note.

My mom will try to divide her attention between the two of us and try to include Mandy as much as possible in order to keep her happy so she doesn’t get moody.

It’s just a nightmare.

 

I will try to be positive about it.

 

I just want to skip this birthday and stay 28.