Freakin weekend

Day 5. 25 more to go. That’s a lot of writing.

I just finished cleaning the office. 4 hours of constant movement and hauling shit and wiping and leaning over and bending down. I ‘detailed’ my boss Drew’s office which is full of CRAP (the whole office is… it looks like a hoarder lives there) and found some photos of him from the 80’s. It was sweet. He had those big Bill Gates glasses.

Among the CRAP was a mini-car collection, matchbox car-like, about 25 of them. I realized as I was cleaning each and every car that they were replicas of real cars he actually owns. I knew he had a car collection, but seeing them all in front of me gave me a different perspective and made me feel like things are…. very uneven.

We have all this Occupy Wall Street stuff, even a protest downtown here that’s been going on for weeks, and I never really related it to my life. But I LIVE it. I work damn hard and make $41,500 a year. My boss works probably as hard as I do, and is a fucking millionaire. It’s kind of horse shit.

Whatever.

Yesterday after work, I picked Jason up and we went to my apartment and played rummy. Wine was happening. I made grilled cheese sandwiches and roasted yellow squash and asparagus. Drank a whole bottle of champagne. Jason left a bit early, about 7:30 or so, and I was sitting in my apartment slightly drunk and wanting to play.

I started texting people…. Blake, Neil, Will (yes), Dane, and then got to Ben, the guy I buy weed from. I’ve mentioned before that he is HOT. We went on a date almost 2 years ago (HOLY SHIT time is flying) and just didn’t feel any chemistry. So that was the end of that.

Ben came over around 9:30, we had a glass of wine and smoked weed and talked and talked. He is SO ATTRACTIVE you guys… but I just don’t feel a connection. Or maybe I’m just saying that because I don’t think he likes me more than a friend and I’m trying to protect myself.

He stayed about an hour, and when he left we hugged and off he went.

I wish I had more to say about that. I wish he was like, “You are beautiful” and kissed me and there was magic and fireworks, but nay. That did not happen.

I did text with Will though, as I said…. and in a drunken state I do not remember how to hold in the reigns. I just DO things and I don’t really think “Maybe I shouldn’t do that…” and I get on this SAY WHAT YOU FEEL thing, which actually tends to work in my favor. It definitely shakes things up and keeps it interesting.

So I was like, “What’ve you been up to lately?” He said, “Catching up with people, working and getting settled back in., you?” I said, “You haven’t caught up with me!” He said, “Well we’ll have to find time to get together then” I said, “That sounds like a blowoff” (Settle down Becky) He said, “Not at all! I have been looking forward to seeing you ever since I got back. What are you doing next Saturday?” Hahahaha score. I win.

We don’t have any plans set in stone but I sort of feel like I got what I wanted, at least for now.

I feel great right now. Looks-wise. I am confident and I know I look good. It’s totally conceited, I realize, but hey, I’d rather have high self-esteem than low. And lord knows I have had my lows.

When I was hanging out with Jason last night, I said, “You didn’t say anything about my boots! Aren’t they cute?” He said, “Yes, I noticed them first thing. You are very stylish.” Later he said, “Have you ever thought about how difficult it would have been to have been born ugly?” I said, “Actually yes, I think most of us take for granted how much appearance plays a role in our lives.” He said, “You’re very pretty, and I’m sure it has helped you get places.” I thought it was very sweet. Weird conversation, but that’s just how we roll.

Plus, I’ve lost 6 pounds since I decided I needed to lose 15. So I have 9 left to go. So that’s pretty cool.

Kaddy and I are back to friends.

Everything is working out lovely.

PS. Tomorrow is a pictures entry. The moment you’ve all been waiting for.